What is working life?

Working life just started more than a week ago. However, I realised that I was not as excited or happy as I expect I would be. I could not recall any moment that really made me smile sincerely or even that made my day perfect.

Today, my anger just blast through my brain and lost its control. Oh wells, as people who know me well enough will know I am a bad tempered person. Actually, I realised that I have better temper in Canberra, but it escalated after I came back. I don't know what's the reason behind but I will try my best to be a patient person!!

I just get to know where my attachment will be for July. It is in Selayang, oh god knows where the heck is Selayang!! I heard it is out of KL!! hurray, that is how my company arrange people for attachment!! Sending a person from Kuching who knows about nothing in KL (except for how to get to work and the way home) to go to outskirts of KL and arrange all other people to go somewhere nearby. 'Thanks for that!!!' The person in charge said he had no choice to put me there!! Nothing can be done to improve the situation!! O.O

The most amusing moment is when he shared the previous batch experiences in attachment. He was telling us how bad one of their team mate had to go to Klang from XXX, another one had to rent a temporary place just to do attachment, bla bla bla. Holy crap, why am I in a company that wants DE-provements rather than IM-provements!! Why compare to the worst while there is a chance we can make things better? Maybe I am at the wrong place at the wrong time!!  

I have a feeling that my company is bias towards people from the other side of the country (as in Sabah and Sarawak because they are always the ones that are regarded as far behind from development, ie, rural area), be it at the senior management level or even junior level. Let me share a bit of my experience from the assessment centre that leads me to the thought that maybe my company is 'looking down' at rural areas. One of the panel judges actually keep repeating that rural areas are inaccessible by internet and they could not afford pricey and classy stuffs, thus ask how we should curb the problems. Of course, I did not give them a second chance to continue to humiliate the people from rural areas that I tell them 'DON'T LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE FROM RURAL AREAS'.

My friend told me once that when he went on a road trip in Sarawak, there are free wi-fi in a lot of the small villages. Not even in KL, we have free wi-fi, so shut up!! Stop that negative thinking about people from rural areas!! Although after the debate with the panel team, they did clarify that they have no intention to look down on people from rural areas and to prove that, they said they have a lot of branches in Sabah. The truth is actually, they merge with a company from Sabah, that's why they have such big amount of branches in Sabah but there are only 4 branches in the whole Sarawak!! Who is treating me as an idiot or a 3 years old kid now??!!

The other thing was what happened today!! A girl who comes from Bintulu (if I have not mistaken) was assigned to a branch which requires her to drive pass 2 toll stations (imagine how far it can be) and there was a branch nearby where she is staying. So, both of us from the Borneo were the only one that got such crappy attachments!! What does this show? Is this a coincidence? We are the 'lucky' ones that receive the rotten eggs in midst of 29 other good eggs!! What is the probability in getting one out of 29?  Think carefully!! People here is not as simple as you think they are!! A lesson learnt within 2 weeks!!

Basically, life sucks at the moment!!

Hello

Hello buddy, it's been a while since I talk to you, but I'm back.

Hello to my friends in Kuching, I am heading back to Kuching very very soon. Hopefully this return back to Kuching is for good!!

Hello to a 25 years old girl!!

Hello to my future!!

Hello to everything!!

Hello to everyone!!

Life is tough but it has to go on. Wish me luck guys!!

"I am me" by Virginia Satir

I am me.
In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.


Therefore, everything that comes out of me
is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me
my body including everything it does;
my mind including all its thoughts and ideas;
my eyes including the images of all they behold;
my feelings whatever they may be...
anger,
joy,
frustration,
love,
disappointment,
excitement
my mouth and all the words that come out of it
polite,
sweet or rough,
correct or incorrect;
my voice loud or soft.
and all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes,
all my failures and mistakes.
because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.
by doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles
and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think
and feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.

When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I
thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting,
and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people
and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me and I am okay.

� 2004 Avanta The Virginia Satir Network. All rights reserved.

short update

Exam fever... Omg, i can feel my cripsy bones gonna fall apart soon. Everyday what I do is to sit and study. Of course, food is never out of my sight. A big container of fruits and raw vegetables is the only possible food i could bring to the library because I don't want to be the evil one that makes all others hungry by spreading the aroma around library. Besides, I don't have time to really cook yummy food.So, to compromise, eat fruits and vegetables. But they are really not filling at all. I have been eating since 4pm today until now 9pm, I still can fill up my tummy. There must be a black hole in my tummy.

Rawr... Exam exam exam.
Sorry, no facebook access at the moment.  Long story but in short, see you facebook after 23rd of this month. I should quickly head back to study because my friend beside me is so hardworking. She was here since this morning. HAHAHAHAHAHA...

 

Long updates

Exams coming soon.... pimples growing on my face, laundry piling up in my room, papers full of scribbles and lecture notes laying around in every corner of my room, students mushrooming in the library, time is running out.

Somehow, this semester, I will have to pass my exams because I want to GRADUATE. Oh my goodness, after 4 years of tiring university life, this morning I received my conditional graduation letter. FINALLY FINALLY... I'm happy, how about you?

So, let's just leave the happy part... let's go to the upset and cranky part of the day.

After for such a long time, I finally went to the staff meeting for once. It's really not my problem because I usually have classes when they have staff meeting. Ok, so what made me so upset is the fact that permanent staffs at my working place claimed that casual workers are lazy bugs.According to them, casual workers are just uni student that don't give a shit to their work and get a higher pay as compared to those permanent ones. I seriously think that is such a heavy accuse to other casual staffs at my workplace. From my observation, casual staffs are those that are working really hard to either keep the kids happy and do the cleaning up. I wouldn't deny that one or two casuals are pretty 'chill' but they don't represent the whole population of casuals.

On the other hand, I can only think one permanent who is leaving today is hardworking, others are just !@#$$% (self explanatory). Most of the time I will see and hear them in the office or in the kitchen chit chatting or bitching about others. They talk about how they break up and make up with their boyfriend, what for dinner plans... etc. When you are good friends to the directors, this does not mean you have more rights to complain and not do work. Damm shit...

Besides, the permanents claimed that they are the ones that are always doing the cleaning up. Do you know why? This is because casuals are always the ones who are always asked to go outside to play with kids or handle those disabled kids. How is it possible when we are outside playing with kids and at the same time do cleaning? Why not let's make it this way, casuals do all the work and permanents just sit there and get paid? How does it sound? Maybe this would make them complain less to the directors and whinging in the staff meeting. Sorry, I am just being sarcastic =)

The last thing that I am cranky about is the directors are very angry with staff's dressings. HAHAHA... seriously, I know this is really NONE OF MY BUSINESS, because I would say I dress most appropriately at work. Always in my jumper, jeans and sneakers. How can this go wrong when you have to work with kids? But the problem is the director's friends who work there are the ones that never dress properly. Can you imagine if you have a kid and you send your kid to some sort of childcare but the childcare workers are wearing short fluffy skirts like Sailormoon and some transparent tops which bras can be see throughly? Dad would be happy but I'm not very sure about mum. HAHAHAHAHA. That's what they wear at work. =)
Will I be expecting bikinis during summer? I don't mind entertaining myself with some hot ladies working with me. We'll wait and see.

At the meantime, I really think my work place's politic has gone more complicated than I thought it would be. Most staffs are friends of friends. Where do I stand?

Enough of procrastination. Back to work.

*Hopefully next time when I attend staff meeting, I wouldn't hear those harsh accusation and impolite wording. My director is a very nice person =)

Another movie day and get touched from Brother Bear

OMG... I shed my tears today at work because I watched Brother Bear.

Sourced from Wikipedia (quite a good summary of the story):

The film is set in a post-ice age North America, where the local tribesmen believe all creatures are created through the Spirits, who are said to appear in the form of an aurora. Three brothers, Kenai (voiced by Joaquin Phoenix), Denahi (voiced by Jason Raize) and Sitka (voiced by D.B. Sweeney), return to their tribe in order for Kenai to receive his sacred totem, its meaning being what he must achieve to call himself a man. Unlike Sitka, who gained the eagle of guidance, and Denahi who gained the wolf of wisdom, Kenai receives the bear of love, much to his objections, stating that bears are thieves. His point is made a fact when a bear steals some salmon. Kenai and his brothers pursue the bear, but a fight follows on a glacier, Sitka giving his life to save his brothers, although the bear survives. Vengeful, Kenai heads out to avenge Sitka. He chases the bear up onto a mountain and kills it. The Spirits, represented by Sitka's spirit in the form of a bald eagle transforms Kenai into a bear after the dead bear's body disappears. Denahi arrives, mistaking Kenai for dead, and his bear form is responsible for it, vows to avenge Kenai.

Kenai falls down some river rapids, survives, and is healed by Tanana (voiced by Joan Copeland), the shaman of Kenai's tribe. She does not speak the bear language, but advises him to return to the mountain to find Sitka and be turned back to normal, but only when he corrects what he had done; she quickly disappears without an explanation. Kenai quickly discovers the wildlife can talk, meeting two brother mooses, Rutt and Tuke (voiced by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas). He gets caught in a trap, but is freed by a chatty bear cub named Koda (voiced by Jeremy Suarez). The two bears make a deal, Kenai will go with Koda to a nearby salmon run and then the cub will lead Kenai to the mountain. As the two eventually form a sibling-like bond, Koda reveals that his mother is missing. The two are hunted by Denahi who fails multiple times to kill Kenai, still unaware that he is his brother. Rutt and Tuke run into the bears multiple times, the group hitching a ride on a herd of mammoths to quicken the pace to the salmon run, but the moose are left behind when the bears move on. Kenai and Koda escape Denahi again, and reach the salmon run, where a large number of bears live as a family, including the leader Tug (voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan), a Grizzly Bear. Kenai becomes very much at home and at content with the other bears. During a discussion among the bears, Koda tells a story about his mother fighting human hunters, making Kenai realize that the bear he killed was Koda's mother.

Kenai's contentment is about to be shattered when Koda tells the story of his separation from his mother

Guilty and horrified, Kenai runs away but Koda soon finds him. Kenai reveals the truth to Koda, who runs away grief-stricken. An apologetic Kenai leaves to reach the mountain. Rutt and Tuke, having fallen out, reform their brotherhood in front of Koda, prompting him to go after Kenai. Denahi confronts Kenai on the mountain, but their fight is intervened by Koda who steals Denahi's hunting pike. Kenai goes to Koda's aid out of love, prompting Sitka to appear and turn him back into a human, much to Denahi and Koda's surprise. However, Kenai asks Sitka to transform him back into a bear so he can stay with Koda. Sitka complies, and Koda is reunited briefly with the spirit of his mother, before she and Sitka return to the Spirits. In the end, Kenai lives with the rest of the bears and gains his title as a man, through being a bear.

Kenai

Koda (very bubbly and talkative little bear)

The song is also quite nice: On my way by Phil Collins
The original sound track on the DVD sounds better than this one, where i found it on youtube

After we watched Brother Bear, we went on watching Finding Nemo, then An Ant's Life. I didn't really like Finding Nemo although the children love it. =) 

What else can I complain about work when you get to have your childhood back once in a while?

Disclaimer: Images may be subjected to copyright.They do not belong to me. I downloaded from google image. 

Answer like no answer

What kind of answer is this? I only ask whether we need to include explanation of benefits for profit seeking firms but this is what the lecturer reply!!

'This would depend on how you structure your essay. I cannot provide an answer as, at this point, I do not know how you have structured or framed your arguments in your essay. The important issue here is to make your case.You need to give careful consideration to the core issues in your essay and ensure that you communicate clearly and effectively. Give careful attention to how you construct your arguments. Making such decisions, whether to include or exclude something, is part of the process of constructing and writing your essay.'

Yes is yes, no is no... Sienz!!