It has been quite a while since I have talked to my buddy because I am a bit busy and most of it is because I am lazy.
My thoughts seems to be scattered all over the place tonight so I thought this would be a great moment to talk to my buddy since I don't feel like doing anything including watching hong kong drama series. It is abit wierd that I choose not to watch my drama series because that is my favourite past time hobby. Anyways, here I am talking to my invisible illusionary buddy. For me, it is definitely fine to talk to oneself but others do not think so. I might be the random one but I definitely think everyone needs some time off away from the crowd.
I am going to write about what happened this morning. It is kind of ridiculous but I bet a lot of us have such experience before. Let me start from what happened yesterday night. Out of curiousity, I upgraded my iphone 4s software to iOS 7 because everyone was giving positive review about it and my apps are not working well on the older version software. The problem is I was too tired that I can't be bothered to wait for the whole download process and I fell asleep straight away. Working life is exhausting when you have to study at the same time.
When I woke up, my phone shows 5.38pm. LOLOLOL... I was asking myself did I actually sleep for more than 12 hours? I basically missed the whole day by sleeping - I did not go to work, I did not call in sick, I went missing in action for Friday. HAHAHAHA. My second thought was to go to the clinic to ask for medical certificate so I can go on sick leave. Yes I know I am naughty and a terrible employee but what can I do? I can't turn back the clock to get to work on time and even if I go to work, it is already after working hours since bank finishes at 4.45pm on Friday.
Thank god I am still rationale that I look at my watch to confirm the time. It was 8.13am. Friday has yet to come to an end and I can still make it to work although I will be late for work. I can't be bothered to think about the consequences anymore so I got on the LRT and make my way to work as usual. I saw colleagues on the same LRT so I was quite relieved. I ran all the way to work from the LRT station and the business banking head was just standing beside my table dealing with his personal assistant. Opppsss... he caught me red handed.
Anyways, I hope I did not get into trouble for being late because last Tuesday, HR just reminded us to be punctual. I hope Apple don't come out with new software too frequently because I am not very impressed with what happened after I upgraded my phone. LOLOLOL...
Life has been challenging as well. Branch attachment was fun but going back to HQ is a pain in the ass. I am aware that when I am in the branches, I smile alot. I sincerely smile from the bottom of my heart, but when I am in HQ, I tend to put on my fake smile and get impatient with people. I hate it. People around you are no longer caring or willing to help anymore. You will be left there sitting for the whole day doing nothing. You will have to beg for work everyday.
To those who let us sat there reading manuals or did nothing: I can understand how busy you are but if you think you couldn't handle management trainees, just tell HR. Don't think your time is precious and we have to put up with all these nonsense. I know we are there for just a week or two, but at least let us do something. Why can't it be a win win situation, where you get us to help you and at the same time we learn something?
Anyways, all these thoughts should be kept here with my buddy because people told me not to be too demanding. I was scolded because they say I don't appreciate life without work and they like to do nothing but get paid. I realized that I could not fit in properly no matter how hard I tried. It makes me so depressed. OMG... depression kicking in again!! Damm!!
Another thing that makes my day so blue is that we have to wait for our person in charge to go out for lunch together. Guess how long we have to wait... 1 and 1/2 hours and no apologies at all. I have to say although your position is senior vice president and you hold a phd, you are busy and have to handle a lot of things, saying sorry doesn't take you more than 2 seconds. I was not impressed with his attitude at all. Of course, during lunch I did not say anything at all because I was not interested in whatever he is talking about because I have no respect to him anymore. Unhappy face during lunch
=(
After lunch, it is time to pay. Guess what, nobody from my group took the initiative to pay. I took out RM50 note and left it on the table. Other group members were sitting there looking at me and the person in charge. I guess they were expecting the person in charge to pay but for me I did not want his treat because he is such a lousy person. They are taking people from the senior management for granted. HAHAHA.... At last, the person in charge asked us to pass him the bill and he has to foot the bill of course. I handed him my RM50 note and he didn't want to take. I can sense that he did not volunteer to do that because he was damm slow in taking out his credit card and he looked at the bill for 2 seconds too. But there is also another possibility that he is just the slow type of person. After paying, all my group members said thank you with a big smile. LOLOLOLOL... I hate those fake smiles!!!
Life sucks!! Friday is bad for Priscilla as always.
I think I should change my blog to a place where I do my research on equities rather than all these negative thoughts and feelings!!
I hate Fridays!!
Friday, 27 September 2013
Friday, 5 July 2013
Happy girl in Selayang
It's been a long time since I have talk to my buddy because I have been quite busy for this week and foresee myself to be as busy for the rest of the month.
I have been turning in very early because I have to wake up pretty early everyday. It is good isn't it? Healthy lifestyle which I have been always longing about. Life was good for this week. Although I have to travel to Selayang every morning to work, my colleagues are very nice people. I love this type of working environment and it is far very different from what I experienced in HQ. The boss is super nice, caring and encouraging. He assist my journey to work by fetching me from and dropping me off at the KL Sentral Terminal when possible. If he could not make it to send me there, he will ask around the office to ensure someone to drop me off the LRT station. I really appreciated his kindness and this is so much better than the HR in HQ. Life in Selayang is in heaven while life in HQ is in hell. I am not talking about the amount of workload but it is more about how we interact with each other. There is no backstabbing or talking behind people's back in Selayang. It is worth it for me to wake up very early to catch two buses to get there and adapt to the filthy environment.
Yes, Selayang is really dirty and smelly. That's why all my colleagues do not eat around that area. They will drive to somewhere else to have lunch because they believe the food around that area is dirty and can cause food poisoning. That is also the moment when everyone sits together to talk, chill and relax. I love the feeling of being part of the 'family' because they will never leave me in the office alone or let me have my lunch alone.
Although my colleagues are very busy people, they will take some time out to answer my silly questions and teach me the relevant work flow. Some even stop whatever they are doing and focus on teaching me things that I have to learn based on the to-do list. How can I not feel touch by the kindness and actions of my current colleagues? I remembered my first rotation where I was left there sitting and reading for the whole week. Nobody answered my questions or even take the initiative to talk to me. When I did not know how to do, they just tell me it is ok to do it wrong, rahter than teaching me the correct way. Later, when they do my appreciation, they just mark me as lousy, below expectations. I was really really angry about it. But thank god, they are out of my life now and hopefully forever out of my sight.
My colleagues are naughty too. They tried to match make me with one of the guy in the office. They hard sell the guy to me and warned everybody else not to bring me out to meet clients next week because I should follow the guy next week wherever he goes. OH MY GOD, funny colleagues, but they define themselves as caring colleagues that wish the best for the work mates.
I am counting my blessing and I hope this month shall never end. I love to be at work now!! =)
I am back to be a happy girl despite what has happened last week which basically ruined my whole working life.
I have been turning in very early because I have to wake up pretty early everyday. It is good isn't it? Healthy lifestyle which I have been always longing about. Life was good for this week. Although I have to travel to Selayang every morning to work, my colleagues are very nice people. I love this type of working environment and it is far very different from what I experienced in HQ. The boss is super nice, caring and encouraging. He assist my journey to work by fetching me from and dropping me off at the KL Sentral Terminal when possible. If he could not make it to send me there, he will ask around the office to ensure someone to drop me off the LRT station. I really appreciated his kindness and this is so much better than the HR in HQ. Life in Selayang is in heaven while life in HQ is in hell. I am not talking about the amount of workload but it is more about how we interact with each other. There is no backstabbing or talking behind people's back in Selayang. It is worth it for me to wake up very early to catch two buses to get there and adapt to the filthy environment.
Yes, Selayang is really dirty and smelly. That's why all my colleagues do not eat around that area. They will drive to somewhere else to have lunch because they believe the food around that area is dirty and can cause food poisoning. That is also the moment when everyone sits together to talk, chill and relax. I love the feeling of being part of the 'family' because they will never leave me in the office alone or let me have my lunch alone.
Although my colleagues are very busy people, they will take some time out to answer my silly questions and teach me the relevant work flow. Some even stop whatever they are doing and focus on teaching me things that I have to learn based on the to-do list. How can I not feel touch by the kindness and actions of my current colleagues? I remembered my first rotation where I was left there sitting and reading for the whole week. Nobody answered my questions or even take the initiative to talk to me. When I did not know how to do, they just tell me it is ok to do it wrong, rahter than teaching me the correct way. Later, when they do my appreciation, they just mark me as lousy, below expectations. I was really really angry about it. But thank god, they are out of my life now and hopefully forever out of my sight.
My colleagues are naughty too. They tried to match make me with one of the guy in the office. They hard sell the guy to me and warned everybody else not to bring me out to meet clients next week because I should follow the guy next week wherever he goes. OH MY GOD, funny colleagues, but they define themselves as caring colleagues that wish the best for the work mates.
I am counting my blessing and I hope this month shall never end. I love to be at work now!! =)
I am back to be a happy girl despite what has happened last week which basically ruined my whole working life.
Monday, 24 June 2013
PEOPLE
It is either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow that I am going to have a presentation on my job rotation experiences so far in the bank. I really do not know what to talk about for the topic because I do not think I have enough content to talk about for 5 minutes. I have yet learned a lot of things at work and it has been very depressing although everyone kept telling me it is ok to not learn or do anything.
My group insisted of finding a word with an alphabet starting with our name. My name is Priscilla, so I have to find a word starting with 'P'. I was asking my friend what should be the word, and she told me perfect. I thought it was a good idea because I have to show optimism in me. But the truth is, I can't get over it myself. OMG, although I was told to put on my poker face at work, I will never want to say my experience there is perfect. It would be so fake to me but I'm sure someone out there are willing to use the word 'perfect'. So, I came out with the word PEOPLE.
In our daily life, we have to deal a lot with people, it is something that is unavoidable. For example, we have to deal with the cashier when we pay for our groceries, we have to order our food by telling the waitress what we would like to have for lunch, we have to work together in teams at work and so forth.
Mouth is the most notorious weapon ever invented by God and no men on earth could ever invent anything else that can be as poisonous or hurtful as what words of mouth can do. I know it is impossible to stop people from talking behind your back because whatever you do, they will have something to comment about it. For example, today, I chose to listen to whatever they are discussing and absorb what is the right way to share ideas so I decided not talking much. Guess what, people commented on me again. They said they have never expected me to be so quiet. Others commented that since I am so quiet, I should be the one that should be doing the presentation. Actually, I was giving out my ideas too in the first place, but nobody was listening. They were very focused on the pretty Y lady. Hence, I might just shut up and listen to Y lady. Y lady is well known for her detailed work so everyone just want to hear from her. Also, I have bad reputation in the bank therefore nobody wants to even be close to me. Fair enough, by talking to me, they are having reputational risk.
I just do not understand why people like to comment and criticize on others when our focus is to get the discussion done. Seriously, why? WHY? WHY? WHY?
God gave us a pair of ears and ONLY one mouth, so why not listen what others have to say rather than always talking? I am not against people who talk, you can talk all your heart out but please only talk about yourself. You have no rights to talk about others because you have not gone through what they have and you basically do not know the whole picture of whatever you are telling. Then, it is time for story twisting and selective telling.
Rumors and gossips can completely destroy a person in the eyes of others. I can't believe a simple sentence like 'I have no faith in the HR' will be spread out to all 29 management trainees and also escalated to the senior management. Everyone was talking about it behind my back and I did not know until now. Hurray, thanks everyone who talked about me because each of you guys spent at least your precious one minute talking about me rather than doing something important!! I still have no faith in the HR. They are good in selective hearing; they only want to hear from their 'pet dogs' and others, they will treat you like stray dogs. Although both are dogs, you get different treatments and penalties.
For example, you can be late for every training and not get whacked in the face but you can get insulted in front of 29 other management trainees because you express your opinions. This is where the unfair games come in. I admit I am not beautiful because I do not have 23 inch waist or big round eyes like a Barbie, but I do not think I deserve to be treated this way. I understand human are sight-oriented animals but humans have to be rational.
TO BE CONTINUE
*I believe if I present based on what I have blogged, I will get more bullet holes at my back. I don't think my back is big enough for extra bullet. So, I will present the way they want it to be - full of lies and pretend I am happy with what they have arranged for us. Poker face mode on!!
My group insisted of finding a word with an alphabet starting with our name. My name is Priscilla, so I have to find a word starting with 'P'. I was asking my friend what should be the word, and she told me perfect. I thought it was a good idea because I have to show optimism in me. But the truth is, I can't get over it myself. OMG, although I was told to put on my poker face at work, I will never want to say my experience there is perfect. It would be so fake to me but I'm sure someone out there are willing to use the word 'perfect'. So, I came out with the word PEOPLE.
In our daily life, we have to deal a lot with people, it is something that is unavoidable. For example, we have to deal with the cashier when we pay for our groceries, we have to order our food by telling the waitress what we would like to have for lunch, we have to work together in teams at work and so forth.
Mouth is the most notorious weapon ever invented by God and no men on earth could ever invent anything else that can be as poisonous or hurtful as what words of mouth can do. I know it is impossible to stop people from talking behind your back because whatever you do, they will have something to comment about it. For example, today, I chose to listen to whatever they are discussing and absorb what is the right way to share ideas so I decided not talking much. Guess what, people commented on me again. They said they have never expected me to be so quiet. Others commented that since I am so quiet, I should be the one that should be doing the presentation. Actually, I was giving out my ideas too in the first place, but nobody was listening. They were very focused on the pretty Y lady. Hence, I might just shut up and listen to Y lady. Y lady is well known for her detailed work so everyone just want to hear from her. Also, I have bad reputation in the bank therefore nobody wants to even be close to me. Fair enough, by talking to me, they are having reputational risk.
I just do not understand why people like to comment and criticize on others when our focus is to get the discussion done. Seriously, why? WHY? WHY? WHY?
God gave us a pair of ears and ONLY one mouth, so why not listen what others have to say rather than always talking? I am not against people who talk, you can talk all your heart out but please only talk about yourself. You have no rights to talk about others because you have not gone through what they have and you basically do not know the whole picture of whatever you are telling. Then, it is time for story twisting and selective telling.
Rumors and gossips can completely destroy a person in the eyes of others. I can't believe a simple sentence like 'I have no faith in the HR' will be spread out to all 29 management trainees and also escalated to the senior management. Everyone was talking about it behind my back and I did not know until now. Hurray, thanks everyone who talked about me because each of you guys spent at least your precious one minute talking about me rather than doing something important!! I still have no faith in the HR. They are good in selective hearing; they only want to hear from their 'pet dogs' and others, they will treat you like stray dogs. Although both are dogs, you get different treatments and penalties.
For example, you can be late for every training and not get whacked in the face but you can get insulted in front of 29 other management trainees because you express your opinions. This is where the unfair games come in. I admit I am not beautiful because I do not have 23 inch waist or big round eyes like a Barbie, but I do not think I deserve to be treated this way. I understand human are sight-oriented animals but humans have to be rational.
TO BE CONTINUE
*I believe if I present based on what I have blogged, I will get more bullet holes at my back. I don't think my back is big enough for extra bullet. So, I will present the way they want it to be - full of lies and pretend I am happy with what they have arranged for us. Poker face mode on!!
Saturday, 22 June 2013
Dogs is everyone's best friend!!
I miss my dog!! Maybe I should adopt a dog so unhappiness will stay away from me!!
Disclaimer: Found those photos on facebook.
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Shadow Act
Found this on youtube. It is such an amazing performance. I praise and respect them for their talent. Such a creative performance!!
Friday, 14 June 2013
Let's call it a week!! =)
Don't know why I am so exhausted this week. My back ached carrying the heavy laptop bag and handbag. Is this a signal that I might fall sick over the weekend? Or maybe because I have really learned something this week after one and a half month of zero input. I feel contended. This week, at least I have something to write on my learning journal and it feels wonderful to review what I have learned. On the other hand, I must have caused a lot of trouble to my person in charge. I kept asking questions because I was so confused during the starting of the week. I never really understand foreign exchange rates in university and even now I would not guarantee that I understand everything because I still calculate the dates wrongly =(
Doing research and forecasting the future trend of 7 exchange rates will be my jobs for the weekends. Can anyone please help me do my assignments? I have no idea how those currencies move and what is happening in those countries in depth until I can be confident to forecast their future movements. Tedious jobs but I think I will enjoy it!!
G7 currencies:
Doing research and forecasting the future trend of 7 exchange rates will be my jobs for the weekends. Can anyone please help me do my assignments? I have no idea how those currencies move and what is happening in those countries in depth until I can be confident to forecast their future movements. Tedious jobs but I think I will enjoy it!!
G7 currencies:
DXY (U.S. Dollar Index)
EUR/USD
USD/JPY
GBP/USD
USD/CHF
AUD/USD
USD/CAD
NZD/USD
Will be my weekend companion. Maybe I should start doing it tomorrow because my mind is completely blank now. I can't even concentrate on what the security guard was trying to tell me just now when I was about to enter the apartment. I told him to slow down because I could not catch a word out from his mouth. OMG... I must be really tired today, mentally exhausted.
I did not have quality sleep for the week. Often I will wake up in the middle of the night and my heart beats so fast that I don't understand why it is happening. Is there something wrong with me? Am I too fat that I am going to have heart attack soon? Oh nooo... Maybe it is time for me to go on diet. But... I love food!! I like to eat!! I am a round round tubby.
Friday, 7 June 2013
It's Friday again!!
I saw this on facebook under Golden words of Paradise,
If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know you,
Don't feel bad, Just remember
"DOGS BARK EVEN IF THEY DON'T KNOW THE PERSON!!"
Lol. Since I can never stop my dog to bark, I can't stop people from commenting about me.
Woof Woof... Dogs are angels!!
Shakespear said:
I always feel happy because I don't expect anything from anyone. Expectations always hurt!!
Yes, no more expectations to my company and colleagues!! Yay, I only have high expectations to myself!!
Emo Friday night!! Sigh!! Good night peeps!!
If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know you,
Don't feel bad, Just remember
"DOGS BARK EVEN IF THEY DON'T KNOW THE PERSON!!"
Lol. Since I can never stop my dog to bark, I can't stop people from commenting about me.
Woof Woof... Dogs are angels!!
Shakespear said:
I always feel happy because I don't expect anything from anyone. Expectations always hurt!!
Yes, no more expectations to my company and colleagues!! Yay, I only have high expectations to myself!!
Emo Friday night!! Sigh!! Good night peeps!!
Monday, 3 June 2013
給白羊座的1封信
To my dearest Batman's wife:
給白羊座的1封信
白羊的人生可以用兩個字概括：糾結。
不管從哪一方面來說，白羊本身就是一個矛盾的個體。
與白羊相戀須知：１.很慢熱，我很冷漠 ２.很直接，討厭轉彎 ３.不喜歡說話，也不喜歡你太吵 ４.喜歡自由的感覺，
羊羊人看上去不拘小節，其實感情上道德上有絕對潔癖。
觸動原則的任何錯誤，哪怕再小都沒有辦法彌補。
決絕的轉身不回頭，不難過，不留遺憾，不內疚。
因為內心已經想的很明白，問心無愧，犀利得一塌糊塗。
你的一點關心，心思細膩的白羊會記得你對他的好。把自己
他們會傻傻的認為讓我承擔吧，別讓別人也受到傷害。
所以別讓他們最有魅力的笑容，成為掩飾痛苦的偽裝認真愛
羊羊內心都很善良，很柔軟。羊羊內在的感性絕對不會亞於
他很怕被人誤解，尤其是被自己在乎的人誤解。
羊羊其實本身真的很正直，確實耍不來心機。即使不被理解
白羊的反擊力很強，吵架的時侯羊羊可能會說一些很讓人傷
吵架就是要吵贏！
羊羊很可能一說出口就後悔了。可是很難拉下臉來衷心的道
不要跟白羊生氣，放他一馬。我保證他會很感激對你加倍的
羊很懶，不想活得那麼累。能簡單，盡量簡單。
不愛解釋，始終認為懂自己的不用解釋。不懂自己的不必解
不想管那麼多不相干的事，他們只挑自己愛做的事。
要嘛不做，要做就做到最好。其實羊羊也是完美主義者。
白羊座對好朋友可以很熱情，亂七八糟聊個不停。
對比較普通的朋友很冷淡，聊不上幾句就沉默。
羊羊很珍惜對他的好朋友，感覺是壞的叧有意疏離。
羊羊的普通朋友很多，好朋友沒幾個。
羊羊很孤獨常常自己一個人，一個人吃飯，一個人上學，一
白羊真的沒辦法一心二用。聊手機時會把電影暫停，工作時
因為羊羊的注意力只能集中在其中之一，白羊們更不會去花
因為羊羊喜歡簡單。腳踩兩條船，對羊羊而言是非常麻煩及
Disclaimer: Found on facebook and I do not own it.
Saturday, 1 June 2013
給巨蟹座的1封信
給巨蟹座的1封信
逃避是他們的習慣。
他們對自己渴望的東西，總是先退到一邊，似乎毫不關心，然後突然
他們以自我為中心，懂得自我保護。
... 他們最害怕孤獨，但又注定了孤獨。
有很多秘密，把真實的自己藏於夜半的寂靜和午間笑聲的明朗中。
巨蟹經常會說“我覺得”“我想”，他喜歡用敏銳的第六感來表達想
不喜歡複雜的環境，他喜歡呆在安靜的地方做他喜歡的事。
喜歡跟志同道合的人組成一個小圈子自娛自樂。
巨蟹座善良體貼，不計較，會細心的記住好朋友的生日。
或許多愁善感，但仍然會在最難過時給你微笑.
巨蟹是十二星座中最為戀家的星座。
他們是現代的模範伴侶，他們無論走到哪裡都不會忘記家裡有人在等
巨蟹是一個很感性的星座，一旦陷入愛情就會想要時時刻刻跟對方黏
巨蟹天生悲觀，脾氣古怪，會突然爬進保護性的殼裡。
在受傷後他很少反擊，只會放棄。逃避是他的習慣。
他很念舊，喜歡舊東西。
他最注重的就是安全感，希望被保護卻常常是一個人。
他希望有屬於自己的空間，喜歡獨處。
巨蟹不喜歡受別人限制。他不喜歡任何東西過於圓滿，對他來說有缺
他的快樂都是微小的事，比如看見一隻小貓或小狗，收拾乾淨自己的
很多巨蟹喜歡顧影自憐喜歡自己舔傷口，他心裡想什麼從來不說別人
巨蟹座的人有包容心，一般不會為了一點芝麻小事而耿耿於懷。
具有容人的雅量，很少拒人於千里之外。
再加上其有禮貌，善交際，富幽默感之迷人個性及對人道主義的尊崇
事實上巨蟹座的人經常會在強悍的外表下，隱藏著一顆柔弱的內心他
巨蟹總說著無所謂的話，喜歡瞎想。尤其是讓人流淚的情節。
巨蟹夏天露出皮膚時，厭惡被陌生人觸碰。在公車上最為顯著。
巨蟹討厭裝的人，但有時候自己也不得不裝，還裝得挺真的。
巨蟹笑起來完全不顧形象，任憑周圍怪異的眼光也不會收斂。
巨蟹的心思很簡單不喜歡勾心鬥角
Disclaimer: Found it on facebook
逃避是他們的習慣。
他們對自己渴望的東西，總是先退到一邊，似乎毫不關心，然後突然
他們以自我為中心，懂得自我保護。
... 他們最害怕孤獨，但又注定了孤獨。
有很多秘密，把真實的自己藏於夜半的寂靜和午間笑聲的明朗中。
巨蟹經常會說“我覺得”“我想”，他喜歡用敏銳的第六感來表達想
不喜歡複雜的環境，他喜歡呆在安靜的地方做他喜歡的事。
喜歡跟志同道合的人組成一個小圈子自娛自樂。
巨蟹座善良體貼，不計較，會細心的記住好朋友的生日。
或許多愁善感，但仍然會在最難過時給你微笑.
巨蟹是十二星座中最為戀家的星座。
他們是現代的模範伴侶，他們無論走到哪裡都不會忘記家裡有人在等
巨蟹是一個很感性的星座，一旦陷入愛情就會想要時時刻刻跟對方黏
巨蟹天生悲觀，脾氣古怪，會突然爬進保護性的殼裡。
在受傷後他很少反擊，只會放棄。逃避是他的習慣。
他很念舊，喜歡舊東西。
他最注重的就是安全感，希望被保護卻常常是一個人。
他希望有屬於自己的空間，喜歡獨處。
巨蟹不喜歡受別人限制。他不喜歡任何東西過於圓滿，對他來說有缺
他的快樂都是微小的事，比如看見一隻小貓或小狗，收拾乾淨自己的
很多巨蟹喜歡顧影自憐喜歡自己舔傷口，他心裡想什麼從來不說別人
巨蟹座的人有包容心，一般不會為了一點芝麻小事而耿耿於懷。
具有容人的雅量，很少拒人於千里之外。
再加上其有禮貌，善交際，富幽默感之迷人個性及對人道主義的尊崇
事實上巨蟹座的人經常會在強悍的外表下，隱藏著一顆柔弱的內心他
巨蟹總說著無所謂的話，喜歡瞎想。尤其是讓人流淚的情節。
巨蟹夏天露出皮膚時，厭惡被陌生人觸碰。在公車上最為顯著。
巨蟹討厭裝的人，但有時候自己也不得不裝，還裝得挺真的。
巨蟹笑起來完全不顧形象，任憑周圍怪異的眼光也不會收斂。
巨蟹的心思很簡單不喜歡勾心鬥角
Disclaimer: Found it on facebook
Spelling makes wording wonder
Thank you note turns out to be thank you not!!
I wrote a thank you note and when the receiver reply my email, the subject became thank you not.
HAHAHA. Ok, I actually did not write it sincerely but I have to send it for being a nice employee. Maybe the receiver can feel the insincerity. Bleh... =P
*I have to wait for 1 month to get my necklace fixed. >.<
I wrote a thank you note and when the receiver reply my email, the subject became thank you not.
HAHAHA. Ok, I actually did not write it sincerely but I have to send it for being a nice employee. Maybe the receiver can feel the insincerity. Bleh... =P
*I have to wait for 1 month to get my necklace fixed. >.<
Friday, 31 May 2013
Pissed off with Lazo Diamond
Dear Lazo Diamond,
Your things are absolutely crap. I bought a pair of white gold earrings and it lasted for only 3 days before it broke. The earrings are not cheap. After that, I went back to the store to trade in for another pair of earrings, which I am willing to pay any price difference. However, your staff deemed that I could not do so because the earrings are broken and implicitly pointed out that it was my fault for breaking the earrings. I do not know what did I do to break those tenderly soft earrings when I was sleeping. The collegue of the supervisor who did the transaction with me claimed that she was on sick leave despite the fact that I just saw here walking out of the shop five minutes ago. Staffs in the shop was trying to be busy to avoid any contacts with me or trying to help me to solve my problems.
After arguing a bit, finally I get to trade in my broken earrings with another pair of new earrings. Unfortunately, my necklace broke after less than a month of purchase. I went to another branch in Wangsa Maju to repair. You staff told me I will have to pay for the repair. However, the staff who sold me the necklace told me it is life time guarantee and repairs are all for free. I am very frustrated with how your staffs manipulating customers by being less transparent. Nevertheless, I did get my necklace fixed on that day.
Today, which is three weeks after the second incident, my necklace is broken again. I am fed up of visiting your shop once in less than every month to get my accessories fixed. The quality of your products are pathethically low and I wonder this time I will get charged for getting my necklace fixed.
Kind regards,
Priscilla
Your things are absolutely crap. I bought a pair of white gold earrings and it lasted for only 3 days before it broke. The earrings are not cheap. After that, I went back to the store to trade in for another pair of earrings, which I am willing to pay any price difference. However, your staff deemed that I could not do so because the earrings are broken and implicitly pointed out that it was my fault for breaking the earrings. I do not know what did I do to break those tenderly soft earrings when I was sleeping. The collegue of the supervisor who did the transaction with me claimed that she was on sick leave despite the fact that I just saw here walking out of the shop five minutes ago. Staffs in the shop was trying to be busy to avoid any contacts with me or trying to help me to solve my problems.
After arguing a bit, finally I get to trade in my broken earrings with another pair of new earrings. Unfortunately, my necklace broke after less than a month of purchase. I went to another branch in Wangsa Maju to repair. You staff told me I will have to pay for the repair. However, the staff who sold me the necklace told me it is life time guarantee and repairs are all for free. I am very frustrated with how your staffs manipulating customers by being less transparent. Nevertheless, I did get my necklace fixed on that day.
Today, which is three weeks after the second incident, my necklace is broken again. I am fed up of visiting your shop once in less than every month to get my accessories fixed. The quality of your products are pathethically low and I wonder this time I will get charged for getting my necklace fixed.
Kind regards,
Priscilla
First day of June
Yesterday I had a presentation with the department I am attached with and people obviously like to ask me questions.
I was asked whether there is any products targeted to Gen-Y in the market that is up to my satisfaction. I told them I have yet found any for the time being and in future I might be able to find one. Then comes the work related question - What if you are a product manager, how do you juggle between company's profit and the benefit of customers?
HAHAHA... Guess what I answered.
It is none of the choices given. Tata ... Answer: I will reconsider my future, i.e., I will think whether I suit being a product manager. Actually reality is cruel. The moment you work the company, you have to put the company's benefit first. Oh wells, I added, if the company pays me well, I will put the company on top of consumer's benefits. This is so not like my statement. After that, they say everyone starts by getting paid less. Aiyo... who does not know that? I told them the truth, if I feel the connection between the company and me, I will do my best for the company. Connection matters, which for me right now is missing.
Actually the answer can be I will put the priority of customers first. Banking is a customer service business. If the customers are happy, they will recommend the bank to others. Although the bank is getting less profit per customer, it is gaining the market share.
This answer sounds so official, which I don't think will ever come out of my mouth. =P
For this week, I have been to KLCC for three times. I don't want to go there anymore. Goodness... No money to shop and most importantly no mood to shop. Thanks to all the baddies around me @.@
I will grow strong and God bless everyone!!
Happy Gawai!!
I was asked whether there is any products targeted to Gen-Y in the market that is up to my satisfaction. I told them I have yet found any for the time being and in future I might be able to find one. Then comes the work related question - What if you are a product manager, how do you juggle between company's profit and the benefit of customers?
HAHAHA... Guess what I answered.
It is none of the choices given. Tata ... Answer: I will reconsider my future, i.e., I will think whether I suit being a product manager. Actually reality is cruel. The moment you work the company, you have to put the company's benefit first. Oh wells, I added, if the company pays me well, I will put the company on top of consumer's benefits. This is so not like my statement. After that, they say everyone starts by getting paid less. Aiyo... who does not know that? I told them the truth, if I feel the connection between the company and me, I will do my best for the company. Connection matters, which for me right now is missing.
Actually the answer can be I will put the priority of customers first. Banking is a customer service business. If the customers are happy, they will recommend the bank to others. Although the bank is getting less profit per customer, it is gaining the market share.
This answer sounds so official, which I don't think will ever come out of my mouth. =P
For this week, I have been to KLCC for three times. I don't want to go there anymore. Goodness... No money to shop and most importantly no mood to shop. Thanks to all the baddies around me @.@
I will grow strong and God bless everyone!!
Happy Gawai!!
Lousy Friday
I always say Friday is always a bad day for me. Yes, it's Friday again and it is time to be upset.
While I am trying to get over all the anger about the insult which happened previously, I just heard from another HR personnel (Miss Y) that the guy actually talked behind my back in the HR meeting. According to him, I am not taking my job seriously, I am very demanding, I only want to get into research, I am not going to stay long in the company.
First of all, I am not taking my job seriously. Excuse me, since when I work with you? You are never my person in charge (PIC) or even worst you are not in the same department as me. Where the hell are you coming from to make such judgment?
Second, you are the one that forced me to tell you what department I prefer. I have already told you that I am uncomfortable with telling you about it. And now you tell me I am very demanding. I seriously don't understand why in the first place you asked about it. Just to slander me? WTF
Yes, I want to get into research, but I told you I want to get into Risk department too, right? Why do you have selective hearing? ZZZzzzz
Yes, I will not stay long in the company. The reason behind it is the way I am treated, it is absolutely unfair and disrespectful.
Miss Y tell me I should talk to her boss about this particular matter because if next time I leave the company, I will leave a bad name because they will treat me as not taking the job seriously. In fact, I took the job too seriously that I flag my expectations high and get disappointed over time.
It was destiny to meet the boss. I saw her on my way back to the office. I seriously did not know how to tell her what happened because I did not want to make it obvious that I am complaining. After long hours of juggling between to tell or not to tell, I finally got it out of my heart.
Obviously, you don't expect anything much from a boss because for sure a boss will defend his/her workers and not for you (referring to me, a small character). She asked me to ignore what he said. Hellooo... how is it possible? It is like I slap you on your face and I tell you, Please ignore. Could you ignore it? Anyways, life still goes on =)
The conclusion from the whole conversation was I am a stubborn person and I do not take advices. I told the boss if I continue to talk to her, I will end up cleaning the toilet because HR can send you everywhere they want to. They are like the magician with a magic wand, Alakrabra, there-you are washing the toilet.
I do admit I am a stubborn person and I don't get shaken easily. But do remember, they are people who are able to convince me through the power of knowledge and experience, for example, the head of deposit department.
While I am trying to get over all the anger about the insult which happened previously, I just heard from another HR personnel (Miss Y) that the guy actually talked behind my back in the HR meeting. According to him, I am not taking my job seriously, I am very demanding, I only want to get into research, I am not going to stay long in the company.
First of all, I am not taking my job seriously. Excuse me, since when I work with you? You are never my person in charge (PIC) or even worst you are not in the same department as me. Where the hell are you coming from to make such judgment?
Second, you are the one that forced me to tell you what department I prefer. I have already told you that I am uncomfortable with telling you about it. And now you tell me I am very demanding. I seriously don't understand why in the first place you asked about it. Just to slander me? WTF
Yes, I want to get into research, but I told you I want to get into Risk department too, right? Why do you have selective hearing? ZZZzzzz
Yes, I will not stay long in the company. The reason behind it is the way I am treated, it is absolutely unfair and disrespectful.
Miss Y tell me I should talk to her boss about this particular matter because if next time I leave the company, I will leave a bad name because they will treat me as not taking the job seriously. In fact, I took the job too seriously that I flag my expectations high and get disappointed over time.
It was destiny to meet the boss. I saw her on my way back to the office. I seriously did not know how to tell her what happened because I did not want to make it obvious that I am complaining. After long hours of juggling between to tell or not to tell, I finally got it out of my heart.
Obviously, you don't expect anything much from a boss because for sure a boss will defend his/her workers and not for you (referring to me, a small character). She asked me to ignore what he said. Hellooo... how is it possible? It is like I slap you on your face and I tell you, Please ignore. Could you ignore it? Anyways, life still goes on =)
The conclusion from the whole conversation was I am a stubborn person and I do not take advices. I told the boss if I continue to talk to her, I will end up cleaning the toilet because HR can send you everywhere they want to. They are like the magician with a magic wand, Alakrabra, there-you are washing the toilet.
I do admit I am a stubborn person and I don't get shaken easily. But do remember, they are people who are able to convince me through the power of knowledge and experience, for example, the head of deposit department.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Mentor and Buddy!!
For the MT program, we are each given a buddy and a mentor.
Today, my buddy (who is from the previous batch of MTs) complained that I never approach her. That is right, I never contacted her because I really do not feel the need to do so. There is nothing much I can say to her since she is also in the same company as me. Bleh... I am worried that I could not control my anger or temper in front of the so-called buddy, who is there to help you along your way for the whole year. I have not much interest in knowing more about the company and how they move their way through the program. I only want to do my work and be at low profile. That's why I can predict myself that I will never succeed in corporate ladder. Sigh >.<
I have to clarify, my buddy is a really nice person but today she is on fire because of someone and something. HAHAHA.
Oh, I also have an appointment with my mentor. I did email him but he never reply me, so it is not my problem. Anyways, I wouldn't want to tell them what is deep down my heart and what I am planning to do.
Seriously I don't feel like talking to anyone in the company because I have to be so careful when I talk and it is just uncomfortable and unnecessary for me. If you see me at work, most probably you will see me with my head set and sitting at one corner hiding behind the laptop screen. HAHAHA. Low profile and undetectable!!
Today, my buddy (who is from the previous batch of MTs) complained that I never approach her. That is right, I never contacted her because I really do not feel the need to do so. There is nothing much I can say to her since she is also in the same company as me. Bleh... I am worried that I could not control my anger or temper in front of the so-called buddy, who is there to help you along your way for the whole year. I have not much interest in knowing more about the company and how they move their way through the program. I only want to do my work and be at low profile. That's why I can predict myself that I will never succeed in corporate ladder. Sigh >.<
I have to clarify, my buddy is a really nice person but today she is on fire because of someone and something. HAHAHA.
Oh, I also have an appointment with my mentor. I did email him but he never reply me, so it is not my problem. Anyways, I wouldn't want to tell them what is deep down my heart and what I am planning to do.
Seriously I don't feel like talking to anyone in the company because I have to be so careful when I talk and it is just uncomfortable and unnecessary for me. If you see me at work, most probably you will see me with my head set and sitting at one corner hiding behind the laptop screen. HAHAHA. Low profile and undetectable!!
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Bottle opening day!!
Today was an interesting day. I walked around the whole building, asking everyone who I know to help me to open my blue Zebra water bottle. For those who know me in ANU, maybe you guys know which water bottle I am referring to.
This morning, I filled my bottle with cold drinks and brought it to work. When I wanted to drink, I couldn't open it. The inner pressure must be so strong that it stops me from opening it. Then I waited until lunch hour when there are more people around to help me 'unlock' it. Hmm.. there were at least 10 people who attempted to open up the bottle but FAILED. If you were on the spot, you can see two people working together just to open a bottle. Funny but showing team work scene, one holding the base of the bottle, the other twisting the cap. Sorry for giving you guys a hard time during lunch. LOL.
We went for chu cheong fun today. Hmm... I don't like the sweet sauce of the 'fun'. Yucks, it should be savoury, how can it be sweet!! HAHAHAHA. It is also quite expensive given we have to sit at the road side and possibly get run over by a car, also it is so so so hot in the afternoon. It wasn't extremely yummy or something very special to me. I am not going there anymore if I am given a second choice since I don't like sweet sauce on my 'fun'. It doesn't match!! It's like eating chocolate ice-cream with salt sprinkled on it!! NONONONO, in my dictionary!! Others can still like it as long as I am not invited to go there. =)
Back to the blue bottle, later in the afternoon, I went to find my other good friend on the 20th floor. He was looking for a cloth to aid his opening process. HAHA... act so pro!! An uncle (Treasury head, the one that stop us for a drink) was around and without any difficult time, he managed to open it. My jaw dropped to the floor because he was the only one who can open it after so many failed cases. LOL. He said before opening the bottle, I should turn the cap left and right, rather than just anti-clock wise. One lesson learned at work, but too bad it is not any working skills!! Good enough for me, a bit of improvement everyday, no matter which field!! =)
Saturday, 25 May 2013
First trip to KLCC =)
For my first time I went to KLCC to post my job application letter, I did not know where the post office was. Of course, I have to go to KLCC without telling anyone because it is really unethical to tell everyone I am prepared to leave the company while I am still there. Ok, I admit I have been very unethical lately!! HAHAHAHA
The weather on Thursday was extremely hot. I took out my UV protection umbrella and walked to the LRT station. To my surprise, the LRT was fully occupied. I thought the LRT would be quite empty given it was on a working day but at lunch hour. Most of the people were heading to where I want to go, KLCC.
I know I only have one hour of lunch so I have to rush to get things done as quickly as I could. So, I decided to ask the security guard who was standing at the entrance of the shopping mall.
ME: Excuse me, where is the post office?
Security Guard: There is no post office here.
ME: Are you serious? (I stared at him because I was so surprised that he said there is no post office in KLCC. Two people told me there IS a post office there. I walked all the way here and now you said there is no post office. !@#$%^)
Security Guard: The post office is not here, it is inside the building.
ME: I laughed. What a great joke!!
Then the security guard told me the direction. Finally, I managed to find the post office and get my things done.
The trip to KLCC's post office was very adventurous despite the hot weather!!
Dear security guard, I know your job is always boring but do not joke with someone who is in a hurry. He/She might be so focus on getting things done and not understand your joke at all!!
The weather on Thursday was extremely hot. I took out my UV protection umbrella and walked to the LRT station. To my surprise, the LRT was fully occupied. I thought the LRT would be quite empty given it was on a working day but at lunch hour. Most of the people were heading to where I want to go, KLCC.
I know I only have one hour of lunch so I have to rush to get things done as quickly as I could. So, I decided to ask the security guard who was standing at the entrance of the shopping mall.
ME: Excuse me, where is the post office?
Security Guard: There is no post office here.
ME: Are you serious? (I stared at him because I was so surprised that he said there is no post office in KLCC. Two people told me there IS a post office there. I walked all the way here and now you said there is no post office. !@#$%^)
Security Guard: The post office is not here, it is inside the building.
ME: I laughed. What a great joke!!
Then the security guard told me the direction. Finally, I managed to find the post office and get my things done.
The trip to KLCC's post office was very adventurous despite the hot weather!!
Dear security guard, I know your job is always boring but do not joke with someone who is in a hurry. He/She might be so focus on getting things done and not understand your joke at all!!
Friday, 24 May 2013
Long weekend
It's a long weekend. I spent my whole day sleeping yesterday. I woke up at 12.30pm, went back to sleep at 9.30pm because I am down with flu and fever. No wonder I felt so different on Thursday afternoon at work. I thought I was just ready for the weekends but it was a signal from my body to tell me I am going to fall sick soon. Imagine I am down with sickness at least once in a month. Oh ono.... my body is seriously under attack. I need to find some food or supplement to boost my antibody.
Yesterday, my house owner bought new washing machine. Hurray... it means I don't have to hand wash my clothings. Thinking twice, I am so used to hand washing my clothing that I am reluctant to wash my clothings using washing machine because office wear are so expensive and I do not want them to get ruin when using washing machine =( Quite a lot of my clothings in Australia ended up in the rubbish bin because of the extensive use of washing machine and dryer. Let me see what I can do with my apparels. Maybe hand wash those pricey ones and dump those lower end ones into the washing machines. =)
I am supposed to study... but I am not. Oh wells, I feel like in a shopping mood now. Too bad, I am just too lazy to walk out of my apartment and I need to save for my tuition fees. Ok, I shall stay at home for the rest of the weekends and do my presentation slides >.<
Please go away, Mr FLU and MRs Fever!! Go find someone else who are happy to accept you!! =)
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
Hurray for Wednesday!!
Hurray, this week there is only 3 working days because Friday is Wesak Day. Tomorrow will be the last working day for the week. How cool is that, we only have to work 4 days a week!!
Time flies and I have been really really busy everyday doing things that was assigned by the person in charge (PIC). Although those work seems to serve no purpose at all to me, I think it should be useful for the PIC. Hopefully, it is not just asking me to do for the purpose of filling in time. Oh wells, I am still happy because at least I am fully occupied for most of the hours at work. I am pretty easy to satisfy right? =)
I want to go shopping!! I want to go eat something special!! But I am too lazy to step out of the house and I am too afraid to get snatched or hit by a car!! Oh noooossss...
I am a new share trader now!! I have my own online trading account!! A lot of things to learn as I trade, a lot of newspapers to read everyday, a lot of analysis to be made over time!!
I am so contended for now although work still sucks as always!! =)
Time flies and I have been really really busy everyday doing things that was assigned by the person in charge (PIC). Although those work seems to serve no purpose at all to me, I think it should be useful for the PIC. Hopefully, it is not just asking me to do for the purpose of filling in time. Oh wells, I am still happy because at least I am fully occupied for most of the hours at work. I am pretty easy to satisfy right? =)
I want to go shopping!! I want to go eat something special!! But I am too lazy to step out of the house and I am too afraid to get snatched or hit by a car!! Oh noooossss...
I am a new share trader now!! I have my own online trading account!! A lot of things to learn as I trade, a lot of newspapers to read everyday, a lot of analysis to be made over time!!
I am so contended for now although work still sucks as always!! =)
Saturday, 18 May 2013
Supportive parents =)
I am such a lucky girl. Although there are a lot of people out there that constantly insult or talk behind me and working in a company that never appreciate my talent or my degrees, I am blessed enough to have friends and family who understand and support me.
Yesterday, when my mum called and I decided to tell her everything that happened to me in my work place despite the fact that I seldom talk to her about u bad news or unhappy stuffs. I never want my parents to worry about me therefore I always tend to show them the happy side of my life. But yesterday I thought they have to know a bit more of my current situation so they won't be shock when I quit my job. To my amusement, my mum actually was even angrier than me about how people in the company treated me. To be honest, rather than being angry, I was more upset and depressed. That's why I cried a lot. I really thought I am the worst out of the other management trainees.
My mum was extremely supportive in this case and she asked what can be done to solve this situation. So, I told her I can always do my CFA and improve my chance to get into research department. Please don't get me wrong, my mum meant I should do my CFA and continue my career somewhere else. HAHAHA. My mum reacted spontaneously by saying
'How much? When is the exam? I will take care for the exam fee. Do your CFA and add points to your qualifications. Don't let those West Malaysians look down on us.'
I think I inherited the direct and decisive characteristics from my dear mother. When I told her there is an exam on June, she asked me to sit for that exam, but obviously it is too late for me to register. Can you see how eager my mum is as compared to me who only complain most of the time? I must be more aggressive from now onwards.
My parents never force me to do anything but sometimes they do nag me a lot, especially mum but I am very grateful to be in such family. Thank you, mum and dad. I think I can get through all these rough moments in life. For those baddies, shoo shoo shoo. Get out of my life.
Yesterday, when my mum called and I decided to tell her everything that happened to me in my work place despite the fact that I seldom talk to her about u bad news or unhappy stuffs. I never want my parents to worry about me therefore I always tend to show them the happy side of my life. But yesterday I thought they have to know a bit more of my current situation so they won't be shock when I quit my job. To my amusement, my mum actually was even angrier than me about how people in the company treated me. To be honest, rather than being angry, I was more upset and depressed. That's why I cried a lot. I really thought I am the worst out of the other management trainees.
My mum was extremely supportive in this case and she asked what can be done to solve this situation. So, I told her I can always do my CFA and improve my chance to get into research department. Please don't get me wrong, my mum meant I should do my CFA and continue my career somewhere else. HAHAHA. My mum reacted spontaneously by saying
'How much? When is the exam? I will take care for the exam fee. Do your CFA and add points to your qualifications. Don't let those West Malaysians look down on us.'
I think I inherited the direct and decisive characteristics from my dear mother. When I told her there is an exam on June, she asked me to sit for that exam, but obviously it is too late for me to register. Can you see how eager my mum is as compared to me who only complain most of the time? I must be more aggressive from now onwards.
My parents never force me to do anything but sometimes they do nag me a lot, especially mum but I am very grateful to be in such family. Thank you, mum and dad. I think I can get through all these rough moments in life. For those baddies, shoo shoo shoo. Get out of my life.
Friday, 17 May 2013
It's Saturday!!
To my surprise, this morning, the first thing I did was to log on to JobStreet and look for jobs. Looks like I am already determined and made up my mind yesterday night through my dreams.
I am back to a happy girl now!! =) Maybe I should go shopping in the afternoon.
I am back to a happy girl now!! =) Maybe I should go shopping in the afternoon.
I hate fridays
The growth journey is always harsh and tough. Nobody will tender you with great care anymore, that's why being a high school kid is always great!! I do not know about others but at least for me it is.
This week, I was in the equity side of the IB. Luckily I am not alone there, another girl in my group is also there (Let's call her X).
During lunch on Wednesday, I was talking to a girl from the same batch as well (let's call her Y). I told her how I feel all this while and I told her how bad it is not to have something to do for the whole week. Yes, what I am doing is actually to draw disgrace to myself. The girl actually said:
"Your attitude sucks. If you are upset, just leave. You know why you are here? You are here in this company is because obviously you cannot get into CIMB or Maybank (top banks in Malaysia as compared to the small bank I am working with)."
After that I talked to X who was also at the lunch table previously. She told me to lower my expectations. Don't expect too much!! Although I promised her to try to lower my expectations, deep in my heart, I was wondering why should I lower my expectation. I am at work now, and all I am asking is to give me work, FEED ME WITH WORK. I am not even asking for a rise in pay or anything. Don't bosses like to pack people with work? I do not feel good at all to sit there and just receive my pay check. Besides, if everyone lower their expectations, how on earth can the company improve and move on? Obviously, I can't do anything because I am just a management trainee. I am very disappointed with the job rotation, which before this I thought it will be very exciting and insightful. I am truly displeased with the rotation. All I can do now is either to quit or work there and keep my mouth shut.
My fridays are always bad. TGIF never applies to me. Guess what, I was crying on my way to the LRT station and in the LRT. I failed to control my emotions again. I'm such a brad!! I could no longer hold my tears and I left my friend behind without even telling her. She is really a very nice and caring friend and I feel bad doing this.
The trigger to such incident was once more due to the feeling on being insulted.
There is another thing that I really dislike this manager is that I told him I am not a money oriented person and he told me not to lie!! WTF, do I need to lie on such things? I know myself more than you know me. You only know my name and my job. I doubt you know about my education and where I am from. I am a very self contended person. I get very happy with all my little improvements in life. As long as I earn enough for a living, I feel good. When it was his turn to talk about himself, he told us he was also not a money oriented person. So now, you can say this, but i cannot!! WTF!!
Then he went on asking what is my preferred department. As I have gained my experience that talking about the fact that I want to get into research will always lead to upset ending, I told him that I don't see the point of telling him because I will never be granted what I wish for. Then he told me must think positive and I ended up telling him. I am such a slut!! I promised myself not to talk about research anymore but I was talking about it again. Then he said:
"Please go home and do a search on those people in the Research Department. Compare your qualifications with them. Come and talk to me if you still find yourself good enough after you compare yourself and them. Even the youngest in the Research department is doing CFA part 2 and bla bla bla.. You see how much hard work they put in, I once interviewed XXX and we talked for five hours...."
When I finished listening what he was talking, I was already teary. I felt very insulted and hurt. If my heart is made up of glass, you will hear it shattered. Obviously, to them, my qualifications is shit and worth nothing. I might be only suitable for them to wash the toilet. Nobody treasures and look upon ANU qualifications. All my double degree, double majors and minors with two professional qualifications are only just some rough papers that are prepared to be flushed down the toilet bowl. They treasure unknown local universities certificates than ANU. I felt sorry for ANU, myself and even for them.
Have they ever give us a chance to shine? Have they ever test on our capabilities and strengths? Have they take the effort to nurture us? I believe in 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration. Don't ever look down or disregard anyone in the world. You never know what is their potentials and strengths. One day, he/she might be even more successful than you or me.
Did I ever say I am not willing to put in effort? Did I ever say I am not willing to do CFA? Did I ever say I want to go home early? Did I ever say I give up easily?
Don't assume anything on me when you don't know me!! Yes I know it is difficult but I am working on it. I am trying my best to know more about the market by reading all types of newspapers everyday and all research reports available in the market!!
To be honest, I have given up on the company. I never give up things easily, but for my first time I am giving up within 1 month. Although I look down on myself for doing so, I can't help it at all. Both my mind and heart tell me to give up. Despite all these, I will continue working until I find a new job. Till then, I will just treat it as a work, nothing more than that. I will finish every task assigned to me but I will never ever talk about research anymore or even take the effort to do more. I am not giving anyone, any more chance to insult me further. I am setting up my protection shield so I don't have to amend my broken heart everyday. I don't want swollen eyes everyday when I wake up anymore. I am fed up with my current life. I want a change. Maybe I am just not strong and tough at all. Maybe everything is just my problem. I tried to rise up from the valley by reading all types of self motivational books. It just did not happen. So for now, I am going to do research by my own and no longer put hope in the company. I am to move on!!
Once the interviewer asked whether there is at a moment I felt sad in my life, I was very proud to tell her no. But if now you ask me is there any decision that made me felt sad and regretful, I can tell you
YES, that is working with my current company. You learn nothing and get insults more than encouragements and 'suck it up' is their slogan which I think really SUCKS!!
This week, I was in the equity side of the IB. Luckily I am not alone there, another girl in my group is also there (Let's call her X).
During lunch on Wednesday, I was talking to a girl from the same batch as well (let's call her Y). I told her how I feel all this while and I told her how bad it is not to have something to do for the whole week. Yes, what I am doing is actually to draw disgrace to myself. The girl actually said:
"Your attitude sucks. If you are upset, just leave. You know why you are here? You are here in this company is because obviously you cannot get into CIMB or Maybank (top banks in Malaysia as compared to the small bank I am working with)."
After that I talked to X who was also at the lunch table previously. She told me to lower my expectations. Don't expect too much!! Although I promised her to try to lower my expectations, deep in my heart, I was wondering why should I lower my expectation. I am at work now, and all I am asking is to give me work, FEED ME WITH WORK. I am not even asking for a rise in pay or anything. Don't bosses like to pack people with work? I do not feel good at all to sit there and just receive my pay check. Besides, if everyone lower their expectations, how on earth can the company improve and move on? Obviously, I can't do anything because I am just a management trainee. I am very disappointed with the job rotation, which before this I thought it will be very exciting and insightful. I am truly displeased with the rotation. All I can do now is either to quit or work there and keep my mouth shut.
My fridays are always bad. TGIF never applies to me. Guess what, I was crying on my way to the LRT station and in the LRT. I failed to control my emotions again. I'm such a brad!! I could no longer hold my tears and I left my friend behind without even telling her. She is really a very nice and caring friend and I feel bad doing this.
The trigger to such incident was once more due to the feeling on being insulted.
There is another thing that I really dislike this manager is that I told him I am not a money oriented person and he told me not to lie!! WTF, do I need to lie on such things? I know myself more than you know me. You only know my name and my job. I doubt you know about my education and where I am from. I am a very self contended person. I get very happy with all my little improvements in life. As long as I earn enough for a living, I feel good. When it was his turn to talk about himself, he told us he was also not a money oriented person. So now, you can say this, but i cannot!! WTF!!
Then he went on asking what is my preferred department. As I have gained my experience that talking about the fact that I want to get into research will always lead to upset ending, I told him that I don't see the point of telling him because I will never be granted what I wish for. Then he told me must think positive and I ended up telling him. I am such a slut!! I promised myself not to talk about research anymore but I was talking about it again. Then he said:
"Please go home and do a search on those people in the Research Department. Compare your qualifications with them. Come and talk to me if you still find yourself good enough after you compare yourself and them. Even the youngest in the Research department is doing CFA part 2 and bla bla bla.. You see how much hard work they put in, I once interviewed XXX and we talked for five hours...."
When I finished listening what he was talking, I was already teary. I felt very insulted and hurt. If my heart is made up of glass, you will hear it shattered. Obviously, to them, my qualifications is shit and worth nothing. I might be only suitable for them to wash the toilet. Nobody treasures and look upon ANU qualifications. All my double degree, double majors and minors with two professional qualifications are only just some rough papers that are prepared to be flushed down the toilet bowl. They treasure unknown local universities certificates than ANU. I felt sorry for ANU, myself and even for them.
Have they ever give us a chance to shine? Have they ever test on our capabilities and strengths? Have they take the effort to nurture us? I believe in 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration. Don't ever look down or disregard anyone in the world. You never know what is their potentials and strengths. One day, he/she might be even more successful than you or me.
Did I ever say I am not willing to put in effort? Did I ever say I am not willing to do CFA? Did I ever say I want to go home early? Did I ever say I give up easily?
Don't assume anything on me when you don't know me!! Yes I know it is difficult but I am working on it. I am trying my best to know more about the market by reading all types of newspapers everyday and all research reports available in the market!!
To be honest, I have given up on the company. I never give up things easily, but for my first time I am giving up within 1 month. Although I look down on myself for doing so, I can't help it at all. Both my mind and heart tell me to give up. Despite all these, I will continue working until I find a new job. Till then, I will just treat it as a work, nothing more than that. I will finish every task assigned to me but I will never ever talk about research anymore or even take the effort to do more. I am not giving anyone, any more chance to insult me further. I am setting up my protection shield so I don't have to amend my broken heart everyday. I don't want swollen eyes everyday when I wake up anymore. I am fed up with my current life. I want a change. Maybe I am just not strong and tough at all. Maybe everything is just my problem. I tried to rise up from the valley by reading all types of self motivational books. It just did not happen. So for now, I am going to do research by my own and no longer put hope in the company. I am to move on!!
Once the interviewer asked whether there is at a moment I felt sad in my life, I was very proud to tell her no. But if now you ask me is there any decision that made me felt sad and regretful, I can tell you
YES, that is working with my current company. You learn nothing and get insults more than encouragements and 'suck it up' is their slogan which I think really SUCKS!!
Friday, 10 May 2013
Sleepless night
Another sleepless night for Priscilla Lim. I can barely sleep properly yesterday as well. My eyes are wide open since 3am but I only went to bed at 2am. I guess there are too much thoughts that came across my mind that require digestion. I do not like to have insomnia because now I am having headache. Oh nooo...
About Thursday, I spent my whole day refining the proposal. I googled the proper way to write a proposal but I was very very careful when I was using the internet. Guess what, I had exceeded the internet quota again today. Anyways, I was quite proud that I came out with a proposal for the first time all by my own. =) Well done, Priscilla!!
I felt the people in the department were too noisy especially for a working space. They were talking non-sense very frequently. I thought maybe if they could possibly improve their efficiency, they can go home early and get more sleep!! But one of my friend told me some superiors actually equate hardworking to working till late hours. For me, that is definitely not the case. I do it fast and correct, thus I can go home early. Work is always endless so no matter how late you stay, you can never clean up your job lists. All you can do is to do work up to date. Another reason for me to fail while I am climbing the corporate ladder because I never like to stay late in the office given I checked my job lists. Sigh
Yesterday, when I was about to leave the office, one of my colleague asked me to wait another 5 minutes because she wants to give me feedback on the work I have done. But it is already 5.50pm, I am done with work and ready to go!! Actually I couldn't blame her because she was kind enough to give me constructive feedback while she was so busy with her work the whole day. So, we chat a bit about my proposal and where to improve.
Obviously I overestimated the figures and she decided to give me actual figures from the daily report. Finally... but why don't you just give it to me when I asked for it in the first place and now I have to reconstruct everything again. Sigh, this is what I meant inefficiency!!
Somehow I can sense that my work is still below the standard and expectation of the head of division. But I was seriously satisfied with my proposal because it was my first proposal and I started from scratch without anyone's help and guidance. I could have done better if I were given more time and guidance.
Today, I spent half of the day reconstructing my revenue generation. But I think it was incorrect as well because the head of division was not interested in looking into it at all. He gave my some of his personal views on how I could gain more from this management trainee program. Another person who asked me to be more open minded and explore more of everything. He seems to be the first person in the company to be able to make me feel shaky upon my point of view. I like him. He doesn't talk crap, he is straight to the point but he disclaims everything he says. HAHAHAHAHA. He asked me what department am I interested in and obviously my standard answer was research and risk. I told him I wouldn't want anything that involves sales and he asked whether I have addressed my concerns to the HR. Seems like he feels that I've already found my direction and I will fight for it no matter what, that's why he kept on repeating how important it is for me to keep an open mind. Cool guy I would say and I would like to talk to him again if I get the chance.
After that, another division head invited me over to share my experiences to be in that department. I was extremely blur when I went into the meeting room with 8 people. So, I told him what I did and my thoughts towards changes that can be made for current products. We had quite a debate about the changes that I propose. He thinks I am very analytical but I told him too bad I never get into research. He told me, if you have an aim, just go for it, which means it is not necessary for me to be open minded. Very contradictory right?
I am still weighing which one is more important, being open minded or get on going for my current aim?
One very good suggestion that my friend gave me was be open minded for the time being and grab any possible opportunities that will lead me to my aim!! Very complicated idea but very true!!
Actually I want to thank two very important people in my life at the moment. They are my neighbours, one level above me. They listen to my complaints every time and give me suggestions on how I can improve my current situation!! I don't think I could have survive through this transition period without their comfort, love and care!! Thanks, peeps =)
About Thursday, I spent my whole day refining the proposal. I googled the proper way to write a proposal but I was very very careful when I was using the internet. Guess what, I had exceeded the internet quota again today. Anyways, I was quite proud that I came out with a proposal for the first time all by my own. =) Well done, Priscilla!!
I felt the people in the department were too noisy especially for a working space. They were talking non-sense very frequently. I thought maybe if they could possibly improve their efficiency, they can go home early and get more sleep!! But one of my friend told me some superiors actually equate hardworking to working till late hours. For me, that is definitely not the case. I do it fast and correct, thus I can go home early. Work is always endless so no matter how late you stay, you can never clean up your job lists. All you can do is to do work up to date. Another reason for me to fail while I am climbing the corporate ladder because I never like to stay late in the office given I checked my job lists. Sigh
Yesterday, when I was about to leave the office, one of my colleague asked me to wait another 5 minutes because she wants to give me feedback on the work I have done. But it is already 5.50pm, I am done with work and ready to go!! Actually I couldn't blame her because she was kind enough to give me constructive feedback while she was so busy with her work the whole day. So, we chat a bit about my proposal and where to improve.
Obviously I overestimated the figures and she decided to give me actual figures from the daily report. Finally... but why don't you just give it to me when I asked for it in the first place and now I have to reconstruct everything again. Sigh, this is what I meant inefficiency!!
Somehow I can sense that my work is still below the standard and expectation of the head of division. But I was seriously satisfied with my proposal because it was my first proposal and I started from scratch without anyone's help and guidance. I could have done better if I were given more time and guidance.
Today, I spent half of the day reconstructing my revenue generation. But I think it was incorrect as well because the head of division was not interested in looking into it at all. He gave my some of his personal views on how I could gain more from this management trainee program. Another person who asked me to be more open minded and explore more of everything. He seems to be the first person in the company to be able to make me feel shaky upon my point of view. I like him. He doesn't talk crap, he is straight to the point but he disclaims everything he says. HAHAHAHAHA. He asked me what department am I interested in and obviously my standard answer was research and risk. I told him I wouldn't want anything that involves sales and he asked whether I have addressed my concerns to the HR. Seems like he feels that I've already found my direction and I will fight for it no matter what, that's why he kept on repeating how important it is for me to keep an open mind. Cool guy I would say and I would like to talk to him again if I get the chance.
After that, another division head invited me over to share my experiences to be in that department. I was extremely blur when I went into the meeting room with 8 people. So, I told him what I did and my thoughts towards changes that can be made for current products. We had quite a debate about the changes that I propose. He thinks I am very analytical but I told him too bad I never get into research. He told me, if you have an aim, just go for it, which means it is not necessary for me to be open minded. Very contradictory right?
I am still weighing which one is more important, being open minded or get on going for my current aim?
One very good suggestion that my friend gave me was be open minded for the time being and grab any possible opportunities that will lead me to my aim!! Very complicated idea but very true!!
Actually I want to thank two very important people in my life at the moment. They are my neighbours, one level above me. They listen to my complaints every time and give me suggestions on how I can improve my current situation!! I don't think I could have survive through this transition period without their comfort, love and care!! Thanks, peeps =)
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Collapse at 10.30pm
Too tired today!! Can't be bothered to write or complain anything. I will express my thoughts about today if I am free tomorrow.
Time to sleep. Zzzzz
*Why can't I find the stock price for Tenaga and Astro on Bursa Malaysia? Hmmm.. Something fishy going on?
Time to sleep. Zzzzz
*Why can't I find the stock price for Tenaga and Astro on Bursa Malaysia? Hmmm.. Something fishy going on?
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Glommy Thursday
Today work was BORING, BORING, BORING. I did my 3Ss again.
I asked the department head that what should I do for the day, and all he asked me to do was to sit there and read their campaigns. I really did not like the department head. Everyday when I asked for more things to do, all he asked me to do is to read their campaigns. You think you have a lot of campaigns for me to read izit? I can read everything in one afternoon. Today is already Wednesday. All you ask me to do is to read read read. If you don't want someone to rotate in your division, just tell the HR for goodness sake. I was so jealous when I looked at other members in my group that their assigned division head explained different types of products for the whole day, brought them out to talk to the clients and asked them to do something that is really challenging. But for me, all I do is to sit there and blend among them, to become the UN-noticable.
The most frustrating bit for the day was when I wanted to leave at 5.50pm, my so called temporary colleague came to speak to me. She was telling me my proposal was not detailed enough. OMG, since when she asked me to do a proposal. All she say was "give me three marketing strategy for the three flagged products". I do not regard that as asking me to write a proposal.
The funny thing is that she told me I will not be given any extra information or figures for me to do the proposal. I have to assume things. Cool!! I will assume why rich people will come to us, what is so great about us, how much is the revenue generated from my idea!! Tomorrow onwards,
I will be staying in my own world, assuming things. In addition, I am supposed to think of something that the head will never think of to help them generate more money. Hmm... why not I take over the role of the head and get paid more since I can think of things that he can't think of? It does not make any sense. Just throw things to someone that is only at work for the 3rd day makes me feel annoyed. I do understand that a lot of the companies do do things this way. No guidance whatsoever. If we, fresh graduate can grab hold of the things old, experienced staffs are doing in just an instance, then we will not be called fresh graduate!!
By the way, yesterday I read this book called 'the secret'. It is about how amazing power of thoughts can be. If you wish to be a millionaire, start to dream now. Every morning, tell yourself, you are a millionaire, you have more than enough to spend!! Decorate your surroundings with slogans that supports your thoughts to be a millionaire and you will become one eventually. I do not know whether this is true, but I will start to change my thoughts from now onwards, BE EXTRA POSITIVE!! Come on challenges!! I'm going to bring you down.
*There was a landslide at Jalan Ampang. I pray for those that had their cars damaged!! Hopefully, tomorrow the road is back to public usage so my lovely colleagues will not be stuck in traffic again!! =)
I asked the department head that what should I do for the day, and all he asked me to do was to sit there and read their campaigns. I really did not like the department head. Everyday when I asked for more things to do, all he asked me to do is to read their campaigns. You think you have a lot of campaigns for me to read izit? I can read everything in one afternoon. Today is already Wednesday. All you ask me to do is to read read read. If you don't want someone to rotate in your division, just tell the HR for goodness sake. I was so jealous when I looked at other members in my group that their assigned division head explained different types of products for the whole day, brought them out to talk to the clients and asked them to do something that is really challenging. But for me, all I do is to sit there and blend among them, to become the UN-noticable.
The most frustrating bit for the day was when I wanted to leave at 5.50pm, my so called temporary colleague came to speak to me. She was telling me my proposal was not detailed enough. OMG, since when she asked me to do a proposal. All she say was "give me three marketing strategy for the three flagged products". I do not regard that as asking me to write a proposal.
The funny thing is that she told me I will not be given any extra information or figures for me to do the proposal. I have to assume things. Cool!! I will assume why rich people will come to us, what is so great about us, how much is the revenue generated from my idea!! Tomorrow onwards,
I will be staying in my own world, assuming things. In addition, I am supposed to think of something that the head will never think of to help them generate more money. Hmm... why not I take over the role of the head and get paid more since I can think of things that he can't think of? It does not make any sense. Just throw things to someone that is only at work for the 3rd day makes me feel annoyed. I do understand that a lot of the companies do do things this way. No guidance whatsoever. If we, fresh graduate can grab hold of the things old, experienced staffs are doing in just an instance, then we will not be called fresh graduate!!
By the way, yesterday I read this book called 'the secret'. It is about how amazing power of thoughts can be. If you wish to be a millionaire, start to dream now. Every morning, tell yourself, you are a millionaire, you have more than enough to spend!! Decorate your surroundings with slogans that supports your thoughts to be a millionaire and you will become one eventually. I do not know whether this is true, but I will start to change my thoughts from now onwards, BE EXTRA POSITIVE!! Come on challenges!! I'm going to bring you down.
*There was a landslide at Jalan Ampang. I pray for those that had their cars damaged!! Hopefully, tomorrow the road is back to public usage so my lovely colleagues will not be stuck in traffic again!! =)
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Sigh, life!!
Do you want to know what I am up to?
To my surprise, we have internet quota at work. For me, 100mb per day is ridiculously little for work purpose. This morning, I finished using my quota within 1 hour. So, for the rest of the day, I was sitting there doing work which does not require any internet, ie, work offline. My colleagues even emailed the IT department to ask them to increase my internet quota. Seriously, why do they even have internet restriction for workers? It is already the 21st century and everyone is feeding on the information from the internet. Without internet, you will be slow in receiving information and even less of creativity since browsing the net usually provides us with a lot of different types of thoughts and ideas from all over the country. At work, we are restricted from using youtube, Facebook and all other social networking websites. So, what is the point of imposing internet quotas?
Without internet, I really do not know how am I going to survive at work. Over time, there seems to be less and less reasons for me to retain in the company.
Life sucks recently. UBAH failed!! Current government remains strong standing!! GST is going to be imposed soon enough!! I expect prices of necessity goods to increase triple fold!! I did not get my research job rotation!! I am working in a department that everyday I go to work, I hope it is time to go home!! Nobody have time to teach me stuffs, so I sit alone all the time!!
I have a new slogan in life -> Sit and Stare, Stare and Stone!! That is basically what I am doing every day at work. I hate my life. Can I please utilise my short life span properly? I cannot afford to waste my time anymore. I am already 25 years old and I have yet started to build up my career. I shall find something to do tomorrow at work.
I know I am in a transition period. But I am more of having depression because I become so sensitive and down lately. I cried so much when I did not get the job rotation in research. I was crying so hard that I woke up crying in the middle of the night. I had swollen eyes when I woke up and luckily it was Saturday the next day. I felt so much insulted and humiliated for failing to get into research or even equity capital market. I, at least had all the basic qualifications required and I admit I am not too stupid in terms of learning stuffs, but they prefer someone who was from an unknown university, not even from finance or economics degree and with poor English O.O
In short, I am still working with my current company because of two reasons:
i) I can't apply for annual leaves if I have an interview
ii) I want job experience of at least a year so others will not question my loyalty (so, it looks good on my resume)
Until I find a department that accommodates my interest and it is fast moving, I know I will not be a happy worker although there are a lot of things that can make someone happy. This does not apply to me.
To my surprise, we have internet quota at work. For me, 100mb per day is ridiculously little for work purpose. This morning, I finished using my quota within 1 hour. So, for the rest of the day, I was sitting there doing work which does not require any internet, ie, work offline. My colleagues even emailed the IT department to ask them to increase my internet quota. Seriously, why do they even have internet restriction for workers? It is already the 21st century and everyone is feeding on the information from the internet. Without internet, you will be slow in receiving information and even less of creativity since browsing the net usually provides us with a lot of different types of thoughts and ideas from all over the country. At work, we are restricted from using youtube, Facebook and all other social networking websites. So, what is the point of imposing internet quotas?
Without internet, I really do not know how am I going to survive at work. Over time, there seems to be less and less reasons for me to retain in the company.
Life sucks recently. UBAH failed!! Current government remains strong standing!! GST is going to be imposed soon enough!! I expect prices of necessity goods to increase triple fold!! I did not get my research job rotation!! I am working in a department that everyday I go to work, I hope it is time to go home!! Nobody have time to teach me stuffs, so I sit alone all the time!!
I have a new slogan in life -> Sit and Stare, Stare and Stone!! That is basically what I am doing every day at work. I hate my life. Can I please utilise my short life span properly? I cannot afford to waste my time anymore. I am already 25 years old and I have yet started to build up my career. I shall find something to do tomorrow at work.
I know I am in a transition period. But I am more of having depression because I become so sensitive and down lately. I cried so much when I did not get the job rotation in research. I was crying so hard that I woke up crying in the middle of the night. I had swollen eyes when I woke up and luckily it was Saturday the next day. I felt so much insulted and humiliated for failing to get into research or even equity capital market. I, at least had all the basic qualifications required and I admit I am not too stupid in terms of learning stuffs, but they prefer someone who was from an unknown university, not even from finance or economics degree and with poor English O.O
In short, I am still working with my current company because of two reasons:
i) I can't apply for annual leaves if I have an interview
ii) I want job experience of at least a year so others will not question my loyalty (so, it looks good on my resume)
Until I find a department that accommodates my interest and it is fast moving, I know I will not be a happy worker although there are a lot of things that can make someone happy. This does not apply to me.
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
30 April 2013 - Pre-Labour Day
Training has been very interesting lately. Today's talk was about how to communicate effectively and negotiate successfully. Although it was very informative, we were way way over the 'pang kang' time. For the first time, I left work at around 6.30pm and as I was walking to the LRT station, one of the department head stopped and asked us to join him for a drink. Opppsss... actually I did not notice the department head but one of the girls that was walking with me smiled at him. Obviously people like me very often failed in climbing the corporate ladder. I live in my own little world, walk at the pace of a cheetah, looking down on the floor as I walk... etc, in short, I am IGNORANT!!
Actually, I realised that to be successful in the corporate world, you do not have to be too smart. Qualifications are barely of significance too. You can be a graduate from the三九流 local university and still be in the same management trainee program, hold important positions as other famous foreign universities graduates. Even if your english is poor (for example, not able to spell explain and unable to speak fluent English), you can still be accepted in a management trainee program (this is from what I observe). It all comes down to whether YOU CAN B.S. and BOOTLICK YOUR SUPERIOR!!
Sometimes, I feel unfair for myself. All the hard work and efforts I put in to even pass the exams when I was in the university (obviously being in a foreign university, we could not copy assignments, no tips from our seniors, higher expectations from the lecturers, higher passing marks etc and for local universities...), those expensive tuition fees and heaps more, are pretty much flushed down the toilets. Just giving an example, as a finance undergraduate student studying overseas, I am totally aware that most of the finance models we are studying now contains errors. Too bad, a local university MASTERS student did not even know or heard about it. They thought all the models such as the CAPM models were perfect. Oh wells, at least when they introduce themselves, they will tell others, 'I HAVE COMPLETED MY MASTERS' and I can only tell them, 'I ONLY HAVE A BACHELORS DEGREE'. About Bachelors, a masters student does not even know how to answer when their superior asked them "what's your bachelors?" >.<
I know if I keep comparing, definitely I will be upset and forever stuck in an angry tornado. All I can do now is strike for the best!! Hurray... tomorrow is Labour Day, it is a public holiday in Malaysia and I am moving house too!! I am getting my own room!! Life is exciting!!
About my attachments, I received bad news today. I will be transferring to a branch that is quite far from my place. The excuse was - the branch which was near to my current place is newly established. They will feel uncomfortable and intimidated if I am around. Hmmm... maybe I shouldn't even be in other branches too because they will feel the same as well. What a ridiculous excuse!! EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! The reason was the traffic there is high and I get more chance to talk to uncles and aunties if I am attached there. YAY!! Aunties and uncles, watch out for me!! I will be there soon!! Come and find me if you need any help but you guys must tolerate with my lousy Cantonese and Chinese!! =)
Actually, I realised that to be successful in the corporate world, you do not have to be too smart. Qualifications are barely of significance too. You can be a graduate from the
Sometimes, I feel unfair for myself. All the hard work and efforts I put in to even pass the exams when I was in the university (obviously being in a foreign university, we could not copy assignments, no tips from our seniors, higher expectations from the lecturers, higher passing marks etc and for local universities...), those expensive tuition fees and heaps more, are pretty much flushed down the toilets. Just giving an example, as a finance undergraduate student studying overseas, I am totally aware that most of the finance models we are studying now contains errors. Too bad, a local university MASTERS student did not even know or heard about it. They thought all the models such as the CAPM models were perfect. Oh wells, at least when they introduce themselves, they will tell others, 'I HAVE COMPLETED MY MASTERS' and I can only tell them, 'I ONLY HAVE A BACHELORS DEGREE'. About Bachelors, a masters student does not even know how to answer when their superior asked them "what's your bachelors?" >.<
I know if I keep comparing, definitely I will be upset and forever stuck in an angry tornado. All I can do now is strike for the best!! Hurray... tomorrow is Labour Day, it is a public holiday in Malaysia and I am moving house too!! I am getting my own room!! Life is exciting!!
About my attachments, I received bad news today. I will be transferring to a branch that is quite far from my place. The excuse was - the branch which was near to my current place is newly established. They will feel uncomfortable and intimidated if I am around. Hmmm... maybe I shouldn't even be in other branches too because they will feel the same as well. What a ridiculous excuse!! EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! The reason was the traffic there is high and I get more chance to talk to uncles and aunties if I am attached there. YAY!! Aunties and uncles, watch out for me!! I will be there soon!! Come and find me if you need any help but you guys must tolerate with my lousy Cantonese and Chinese!! =)
Monday, 29 April 2013
29 April 2013 - Personality Development Day
Hurray hurray, guess where is my next attachment? It is at USJ!! Where the hell is USJ?
If I have not mistaken, USJ is around Sunway. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! Does that mean I am going Sunway Pyramid shopping everyday?
*Claps* *Claps* for such crappy attachments again!!
I think this is another attachment where I have to drag myself out of bed early in the morning, take at least 3 types of public transport to get to work. I am exploring KL more in a risky way!! Damm shit!!
Today, the DISC (personality test) guy came for a talk. I am seriously in the wrong group. My group consist of people who likes meeting and talking to people. Ermm... I like keeping myself to MYSELF most of the time, but I do not deny that SOMETIMES I do enjoy hanging around with people. But the probability of that happening is around 20%. Definitely, I am not an 'influencing' person. I would like to redo my personality test if I have another chance. Of course, in the working world, people are seldom given a second chance. It is either u strike it or you are out of the game. Oh wells, at least now I know there are 4 types of personality at the very general stages.
I would say I am a bit of all 4 types of personality.
I am
DOMINANT - I have a goal and I will do whatever it takes to succeed!!
INFLUENCING - I can be very optimistic and talkative when I choose to =)
STEADY - I can be very laid back at times that I think I deserve a break (in another word - LAZY)
COMPLIANCE - I am an actuarial student, I have to be analytical and loves figures!!
But definitely I know, among which of the four personality, there is something I am better at as compared to others. I am in a transitory stage where everything is still in the process of seeking and forming, and god knows where I will end up in the coming 5 years?
Oh ya, today my friend gave me an otak-otak bun!! She brought it all the way from Muar. OMG, I am so touched!! HAHAHAHA. Thanks, dear friend!! =)
If I have not mistaken, USJ is around Sunway. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! Does that mean I am going Sunway Pyramid shopping everyday?
*Claps* *Claps* for such crappy attachments again!!
I think this is another attachment where I have to drag myself out of bed early in the morning, take at least 3 types of public transport to get to work. I am exploring KL more in a risky way!! Damm shit!!
Today, the DISC (personality test) guy came for a talk. I am seriously in the wrong group. My group consist of people who likes meeting and talking to people. Ermm... I like keeping myself to MYSELF most of the time, but I do not deny that SOMETIMES I do enjoy hanging around with people. But the probability of that happening is around 20%. Definitely, I am not an 'influencing' person. I would like to redo my personality test if I have another chance. Of course, in the working world, people are seldom given a second chance. It is either u strike it or you are out of the game. Oh wells, at least now I know there are 4 types of personality at the very general stages.
I would say I am a bit of all 4 types of personality.
I am
DOMINANT - I have a goal and I will do whatever it takes to succeed!!
INFLUENCING - I can be very optimistic and talkative when I choose to =)
STEADY - I can be very laid back at times that I think I deserve a break (in another word - LAZY)
COMPLIANCE - I am an actuarial student, I have to be analytical and loves figures!!
But definitely I know, among which of the four personality, there is something I am better at as compared to others. I am in a transitory stage where everything is still in the process of seeking and forming, and god knows where I will end up in the coming 5 years?
Oh ya, today my friend gave me an otak-otak bun!! She brought it all the way from Muar. OMG, I am so touched!! HAHAHAHA. Thanks, dear friend!! =)
Saturday, 27 April 2013
Friday (26 April 2013)
Another weekend with negative productivity!! I am down with flu, cough and slight fever which I never realised. I thought I am strong but obviously I am not. The protection shield in my body has lost its defence towards the extremely powerful viruses!! After being sick for a week, I finally went to visit the doctor. There were quite a few clinics around my working place. As a finance student, I start to think whether it is due to the supply and demand theory. Does that mean workers working around that area fall sick easily, that's why doctors are standby around to 'suck' our money?
There were like 7 people sitting in the clinic waiting for their respective turns when I arrived. Of course, I waited for more than 45 minutes to see the doctor for 3 minutes. In between, the doctor received a call but she told the person who called that 'there is a crowd in the clinic'. This must be the 'peak' for doctors, like auditors have their peak before the closing of the financial year. Before I leave, I took my goody bag with me. Now, I have extra 'food' to be fed on!!
The doctor told me to swallow my cough syrup slowly without mixing water. By that, I beg her to change those irritating, yucky syrup to tablets. Of course, the beg was of no use. I took home, two but not one cough syrups!! The doctor told me the syrup taste good, like honey!! Sorry, it does not taste like honey. I couldn't describe the taste exactly but all I can say it is salty. Honey is never salty!!
On Friday, we finish an hour earlier than usual. We went for dinner in Tappas and dinner was ok. I ordered some type of spaghetti carbonara, where I replaced the bacons with broccoli and carrots. The price was acceptable given the high living standard here. Our salary is pretty low nevertheless.
Finally it is time for Iron Man III. It was better than I expected!! Great movie!! Heaps of people were there to watch the newly released movie.
There were like 7 people sitting in the clinic waiting for their respective turns when I arrived. Of course, I waited for more than 45 minutes to see the doctor for 3 minutes. In between, the doctor received a call but she told the person who called that 'there is a crowd in the clinic'. This must be the 'peak' for doctors, like auditors have their peak before the closing of the financial year. Before I leave, I took my goody bag with me. Now, I have extra 'food' to be fed on!!
The doctor told me to swallow my cough syrup slowly without mixing water. By that, I beg her to change those irritating, yucky syrup to tablets. Of course, the beg was of no use. I took home, two but not one cough syrups!! The doctor told me the syrup taste good, like honey!! Sorry, it does not taste like honey. I couldn't describe the taste exactly but all I can say it is salty. Honey is never salty!!
On Friday, we finish an hour earlier than usual. We went for dinner in Tappas and dinner was ok. I ordered some type of spaghetti carbonara, where I replaced the bacons with broccoli and carrots. The price was acceptable given the high living standard here. Our salary is pretty low nevertheless.
Finally it is time for Iron Man III. It was better than I expected!! Great movie!! Heaps of people were there to watch the newly released movie.
Pre-movie photo
Post movie photo
Did you notice the stack of paper on each and everyone's hand? That is the DISC profiling test results. From that result, I am a persuader!! Hmm.. since when I am a persuader? Obviously, there is something wrong going on when I was doing the test, that's why the result does not reflect the true me!! I might be over-excitied that day when I was doing the test. I can't even persuade myself working in that company, how on earth can I persuade others? Things has been so wrong!! If they really place me according to the DISC result, I am going to be suffering at work >.< Can I please please please redo my DISC?
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Work = Death
I made a mistake yesterday in my previous post... The person who got crappy arrangement was from Limbang. Oh wells, Limbang is also in East Malaysia!!
Today, as persuaded by my dear colleague, I went to talk to the head of this program. I told her the situation I am in and asked politely whether is there any way for me to be attached to other branches.
Guess what was her response!!
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! THE BRANCH IS THERE FOR A REASON!! WE CANNOT MOVE THE BRANCH TO ALLOCATE TO YOUR NEEDS!!
hmmm.... ehhh... ohhhh... urggghhh... What should be a reasonable reason behind it? Did I ask you to move a branch to my front door? What a ridiculous answer given!! I did not want to continue to talk to her and I left.
Ok, so to get to Selayang, I have to take LRT, then train, then bus!! One trip is around RM6-7 at least!! That is for public transport.
What if I take taxi?
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! - I work to pay for taxi fare, that's why I work!! My Limbang friend works just to pay petrol and tolls!!
OMG, if my mum knows I work just to pay taxi, she would rather me sit at home because taking taxi in Malaysia is extremely dangerous (that's what I guess) =P
I think I won't be taking taxi because I really cannot afford it as the attachment is for a month so I think I'm back to public transport...
I can imagine myself waking up at 5am everyday, leaving home at 6am, walk to LRT station in the dark which is prompt to snatch thieves with sharp knives, head to KL Sentral, then take train to batu caves, looking like a mad person, walking to bus stops and hop on a bus all packed with foreign workers!! My life is getting exciting!! One day, you will probably see me on the obituary in the newspapers or even on the first page of the newspaper, where I am lying in a pool of blood!!
Hmm.. I think I should stop now!! Or else, I will think that go to work = go to die!!
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! My colleague say this is to train my navigation skills. Yay, I never know to be successful, it requires good navigation skills!! Maybe a person who has good navigation skills can be the CEO!! HAHAHAHA... I am the future toilet CEO lar!!
The girl from Limbang was joking that our next attachment will be at Johor because they want to train our travelling skills. After thinking for a while, she say maybe not since go to Johor only requires the skill to hop on the express train. This is not challenging enough for both of us!! Maybe our next attachment would require us to row the boat to some other branches because now we have most of the public transport available!! You are such a joker, Limbang mate!! I will update you guys if I really have to take the boat to work!! Row row row your boat, gently down the stream...
Today, as persuaded by my dear colleague, I went to talk to the head of this program. I told her the situation I am in and asked politely whether is there any way for me to be attached to other branches.
Guess what was her response!!
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! THE BRANCH IS THERE FOR A REASON!! WE CANNOT MOVE THE BRANCH TO ALLOCATE TO YOUR NEEDS!!
hmmm.... ehhh... ohhhh... urggghhh... What should be a reasonable reason behind it? Did I ask you to move a branch to my front door? What a ridiculous answer given!! I did not want to continue to talk to her and I left.
Ok, so to get to Selayang, I have to take LRT, then train, then bus!! One trip is around RM6-7 at least!! That is for public transport.
What if I take taxi?
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! - I work to pay for taxi fare, that's why I work!! My Limbang friend works just to pay petrol and tolls!!
OMG, if my mum knows I work just to pay taxi, she would rather me sit at home because taking taxi in Malaysia is extremely dangerous (that's what I guess) =P
I think I won't be taking taxi because I really cannot afford it as the attachment is for a month so I think I'm back to public transport...
I can imagine myself waking up at 5am everyday, leaving home at 6am, walk to LRT station in the dark which is prompt to snatch thieves with sharp knives, head to KL Sentral, then take train to batu caves, looking like a mad person, walking to bus stops and hop on a bus all packed with foreign workers!! My life is getting exciting!! One day, you will probably see me on the obituary in the newspapers or even on the first page of the newspaper, where I am lying in a pool of blood!!
Hmm.. I think I should stop now!! Or else, I will think that go to work = go to die!!
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! My colleague say this is to train my navigation skills. Yay, I never know to be successful, it requires good navigation skills!! Maybe a person who has good navigation skills can be the CEO!! HAHAHAHA... I am the future toilet CEO lar!!
The girl from Limbang was joking that our next attachment will be at Johor because they want to train our travelling skills. After thinking for a while, she say maybe not since go to Johor only requires the skill to hop on the express train. This is not challenging enough for both of us!! Maybe our next attachment would require us to row the boat to some other branches because now we have most of the public transport available!! You are such a joker, Limbang mate!! I will update you guys if I really have to take the boat to work!! Row row row your boat, gently down the stream...
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
What is working life?
Working life just started more than a week ago. However, I realised that I was not as excited or happy as I expect I would be. I could not recall any moment that really made me smile sincerely or even that made my day perfect.
Today, my anger just blast through my brain and lost its control. Oh wells, as people who know me well enough will know I am a bad tempered person. Actually, I realised that I have better temper in Canberra, but it escalated after I came back. I don't know what's the reason behind but I will try my best to be a patient person!!
I just get to know where my attachment will be for July. It is in Selayang, oh god knows where the heck is Selayang!! I heard it is out of KL!! hurray, that is how my company arrange people for attachment!! Sending a person from Kuching who knows about nothing in KL (except for how to get to work and the way home) to go to outskirts of KL and arrange all other people to go somewhere nearby. 'Thanks for that!!!' The person in charge said he had no choice to put me there!! Nothing can be done to improve the situation!! O.O
The most amusing moment is when he shared the previous batch experiences in attachment. He was telling us how bad one of their team mate had to go to Klang from XXX, another one had to rent a temporary place just to do attachment, bla bla bla. Holy crap, why am I in a company that wants DE-provements rather than IM-provements!! Why compare to the worst while there is a chance we can make things better? Maybe I am at the wrong place at the wrong time!!
I have a feeling that my company is bias towards people from the other side of the country (as in Sabah and Sarawak because they are always the ones that are regarded as far behind from development, ie, rural area), be it at the senior management level or even junior level. Let me share a bit of my experience from the assessment centre that leads me to the thought that maybe my company is 'looking down' at rural areas. One of the panel judges actually keep repeating that rural areas are inaccessible by internet and they could not afford pricey and classy stuffs, thus ask how we should curb the problems. Of course, I did not give them a second chance to continue to humiliate the people from rural areas that I tell them 'DON'T LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE FROM RURAL AREAS'.
My friend told me once that when he went on a road trip in Sarawak, there are free wi-fi in a lot of the small villages. Not even in KL, we have free wi-fi, so shut up!! Stop that negative thinking about people from rural areas!! Although after the debate with the panel team, they did clarify that they have no intention to look down on people from rural areas and to prove that, they said they have a lot of branches in Sabah. The truth is actually, they merge with a company from Sabah, that's why they have such big amount of branches in Sabah but there are only 4 branches in the whole Sarawak!! Who is treating me as an idiot or a 3 years old kid now??!!
The other thing was what happened today!! A girl who comes from Bintulu (if I have not mistaken) was assigned to a branch which requires her to drive pass 2 toll stations (imagine how far it can be) and there was a branch nearby where she is staying. So, both of us from the Borneo were the only one that got such crappy attachments!! What does this show? Is this a coincidence? We are the 'lucky' ones that receive the rotten eggs in midst of 29 other good eggs!! What is the probability in getting one out of 29? Think carefully!! People here is not as simple as you think they are!! A lesson learnt within 2 weeks!!
Basically, life sucks at the moment!!
Today, my anger just blast through my brain and lost its control. Oh wells, as people who know me well enough will know I am a bad tempered person. Actually, I realised that I have better temper in Canberra, but it escalated after I came back. I don't know what's the reason behind but I will try my best to be a patient person!!
I just get to know where my attachment will be for July. It is in Selayang, oh god knows where the heck is Selayang!! I heard it is out of KL!! hurray, that is how my company arrange people for attachment!! Sending a person from Kuching who knows about nothing in KL (except for how to get to work and the way home) to go to outskirts of KL and arrange all other people to go somewhere nearby. 'Thanks for that!!!' The person in charge said he had no choice to put me there!! Nothing can be done to improve the situation!! O.O
The most amusing moment is when he shared the previous batch experiences in attachment. He was telling us how bad one of their team mate had to go to Klang from XXX, another one had to rent a temporary place just to do attachment, bla bla bla. Holy crap, why am I in a company that wants DE-provements rather than IM-provements!! Why compare to the worst while there is a chance we can make things better? Maybe I am at the wrong place at the wrong time!!
I have a feeling that my company is bias towards people from the other side of the country (as in Sabah and Sarawak because they are always the ones that are regarded as far behind from development, ie, rural area), be it at the senior management level or even junior level. Let me share a bit of my experience from the assessment centre that leads me to the thought that maybe my company is 'looking down' at rural areas. One of the panel judges actually keep repeating that rural areas are inaccessible by internet and they could not afford pricey and classy stuffs, thus ask how we should curb the problems. Of course, I did not give them a second chance to continue to humiliate the people from rural areas that I tell them 'DON'T LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE FROM RURAL AREAS'.
My friend told me once that when he went on a road trip in Sarawak, there are free wi-fi in a lot of the small villages. Not even in KL, we have free wi-fi, so shut up!! Stop that negative thinking about people from rural areas!! Although after the debate with the panel team, they did clarify that they have no intention to look down on people from rural areas and to prove that, they said they have a lot of branches in Sabah. The truth is actually, they merge with a company from Sabah, that's why they have such big amount of branches in Sabah but there are only 4 branches in the whole Sarawak!! Who is treating me as an idiot or a 3 years old kid now??!!
The other thing was what happened today!! A girl who comes from Bintulu (if I have not mistaken) was assigned to a branch which requires her to drive pass 2 toll stations (imagine how far it can be) and there was a branch nearby where she is staying. So, both of us from the Borneo were the only one that got such crappy attachments!! What does this show? Is this a coincidence? We are the 'lucky' ones that receive the rotten eggs in midst of 29 other good eggs!! What is the probability in getting one out of 29? Think carefully!! People here is not as simple as you think they are!! A lesson learnt within 2 weeks!!
Basically, life sucks at the moment!!
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
Hello
Hello buddy, it's been a while since I talk to you, but I'm back.
Hello to my friends in Kuching, I am heading back to Kuching very very soon. Hopefully this return back to Kuching is for good!!
Hello to a 25 years old girl!!
Hello to my future!!
Hello to everything!!
Hello to everyone!!
Life is tough but it has to go on. Wish me luck guys!!
Hello to my friends in Kuching, I am heading back to Kuching very very soon. Hopefully this return back to Kuching is for good!!
Hello to a 25 years old girl!!
Hello to my future!!
Hello to everything!!
Hello to everyone!!
Life is tough but it has to go on. Wish me luck guys!!
Sunday, 13 January 2013
"I am me" by Virginia Satir
I am me.
In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.
Therefore, everything that comes out of me
is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me
my body including everything it does;
my mind including all its thoughts and ideas;
my eyes including the images of all they behold;
my feelings whatever they may be...
anger,
joy,
frustration,
love,
disappointment,
excitement
my mouth and all the words that come out of it
polite,
sweet or rough,
correct or incorrect;
my voice loud or soft.
and all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes,
all my failures and mistakes.
because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.
by doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles
and for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think
and feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I
thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting,
and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people
and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me and I am okay.
� 2004 Avanta The Virginia Satir Network. All rights reserved.
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